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Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to human. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to human. MORQ
It is increasingly prevalent for modern couples to have children later than expected. In my opinion, the tendency of becoming parents later, which are caused by the following factors, can lead to unwelcome consequences for both society and family. Delaying pregnancy may be the result of the reasons as follow. Firstly, the development of society makes it more exorbitant to raise kids. Compared with the past, parents nowadays have to pay extra money to send their children to different kinds of tutoring class or extracurricular activities, so many young couples would avoid pregnancy before they achieve something in their careers. Secondly, higher average literacy nowadays enables many young people to realize the importance of individualism. In other words, they are unwilling to sacrifice their time and energy, which could have been used to enjoy their lives, to take care of a baby at a young age. Unfortunately, such a trend could be detrimental to both society and family. In the first place, the trend of having children late would contribute to the coming of the aging society. If the trend continues without any measures taken, sooner or later, the society may suffer from the lack of labor, which would cause the depression of economy and thus bring down the living standard of every member of the society. In the second place, many couples would find that when their incomes finally meet their expected expenditure of parenting, they have beome too busy for their jobs to have children. In this case, they may get stuck into the dilemma between giving up their careers or abandoning their plans of having children. In conclusion, the choice of many modern people to be parents at older ages are made because of the change of society. If the governments and society do not take any action to address the concern of young people, the trend may continue and negative impacts could be exerted.
It is
increasingly
prevalent for modern couples to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
later than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. In my opinion, the tendency of becoming parents later, which
are caused
by the following factors, can lead to unwelcome consequences for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and family.

Delaying pregnancy may be the result of the reasons
Did you mean "as follows"?
as follow
.
Firstly
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more exorbitant to raise kids. Compared with the past, parents nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay extra money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of tutoring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or extracurricular activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
couples would avoid pregnancy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they achieve something in their careers.
Secondly
, higher average literacy nowadays enables
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to realize the importance of individualism.
In other words
, they are unwilling to sacrifice their time and energy, which could have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, to take care of a baby at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age.

Unfortunately, such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
could be detrimental to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and family. In the
first
place, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
late would contribute to the coming of the aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
continues without any measures taken, sooner or later, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
may suffer from the lack of labor, which would cause the depression of economy and
thus
bring down the living standard of every member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In the second place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples would find that when their incomes
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
expenditure of parenting, they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
beome
too busy for their jobs to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In this case
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck into the dilemma between giving up their careers or abandoning their plans of having children.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, the choice of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be parents at older ages
are made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
do not take any action to address the concern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
may continue and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts could
be exerted
.
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Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to human.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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