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In some countries people want that student do work or travel before stating of university sudies

In some countries people want that student do work or travel before stating of university sudies 3WpJN
Some part of world prefer to their juveniles to have work or travel for a year before starting their higher studies. It Has pros and cons student learn work experience or improve communication skill while cons is that they waste both time and money. this ideas will discuss in following paragraph and provide a logical conclusion of it. To commence with, there are various reasons in the favour of my stance, but the most important is that by working in any organisation they will learn the work experience and also new skill that make them mature. however, by traveling to the different places is helpful for people because they will aware about ample of culture and tradition and know about various places. from this they enhance their communication skill and also boost confidence to talk with other in a better manner. needless to say, it is better option to enhance their knowledge. Probing ahead, the other aspect that is worth mentioning is that it also has some demerits like it waste time and money because at that time they work on their particular skill in which they want to profficence. Secondly, wastage of money on travelling. they can use this money to pay the university fee. however, working on their skill will beneficial for them in future. in addition, major problem is that they got distract from their study because if they working they become greedy of earning money or enjoying the travelling with no tension of responsibility. To sum up, taking gap between study is to learn communication skill yet people got distract from their studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
part of world prefer to their juveniles to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or travel for a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. It Has pros and cons student learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
while cons is that they waste both time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Did you mean "these"?
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
will discuss in following paragraph and provide a logical conclusion of it. To commence with, there are various reasons in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is that by working in any
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
they will learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience and
also
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them mature.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, by traveling to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places is helpful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will aware
about ample of culture and tradition and know about various places.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
this they enhance their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and
also
boost confidence to talk with other in a better manner.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
needless
to say, it is better option to enhance their knowledge. Probing ahead, the other aspect
that is
worth mentioning is that it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits like it waste time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at that time they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in which they want to
Possible spelling mistake found.
profficence
.
Secondly
, wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on travelling.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pay the university fee.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, working on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
will beneficial for them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, major problem is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
distract from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
Did you mean "they're working", "they are working", or "they were working"?
they working
they become greedy of earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or enjoying the travelling with no tension of responsibility. To sum up, taking gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is to learn communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
yet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
distract from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
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IELTS essay In some countries people want that student do work or travel before stating of university sudies

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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