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In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development GPdw
Nowadays, people spend more time at their offices than at home or with their friends. In many countries, this has become a daily norm which is destroying the work culture that a company should maintain. It is crucial to have a work-life balance not only to increase productivity in one's professional life but also to lead a healthy personal life by spending time with your loved ones or getting involved in other leisure activities. There are various factors contributing to such a monotonous and tiresome routine. Firstly, as the economy is growing, so is the work pressure. With the new advancements in almost every sector, some countries are emerging as global powers but without realizing the cost at which it is coming. Secondly, there is a constant need among individuals to perform better because of the increasing competition. Many companies evaluate the performance of their employees based on the number of hours they are working. Hence, the burden created is tremendous and is forcing people to work longer shifts. Such work culture is definitely a negative development more than a positive one in my opinion. The major impact can be seen in terms of physical as well as mental health. Researchers have suggested an upward trend in the percentage of people suffering from depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. In addition, sitting in the same position for an extended number of hours is one of the leading causes of obesity and continuous physical pains in the body. From my point of view, there is an urgent need to bring in good policies to address the situation before it gets worse. The government can fix the total no of hours per week so that no organization can take undue advantage of its employees and also mention the repercussions in case of non-compliance. It could also set up an employee grievance system available 24*7 for employers to take it seriously.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend more time at their offices than at home or with their friends. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, this has become a daily norm which is destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
culture that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should maintain. It is crucial to have a work-life balance not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to increase productivity in one's professional life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to lead a healthy personal life by spending time with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones or getting involved in other leisure activities.

There are various factors contributing to such a monotonous and tiresome routine.
Firstly
, as the economy is growing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure. With the new advancements in almost every sector,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries are emerging as global powers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without realizing the cost at which it is coming.
Secondly
, there is a constant need among individuals to perform better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing competition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
evaluate the performance of their employees based on the number of hours they are working.
Hence
, the burden created is tremendous and is forcing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
longer shifts.

Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
culture is definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development more than a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one in my opinion. The major impact can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in terms of physical
as well
as mental health. Researchers have suggested an upward trend in the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from depression, anxiety and other mental health issues.
In addition
, sitting in the same position for an extended number of hours is one of the leading causes of obesity and continuous physical pains in the body.

From my point of view, there is an urgent need to bring in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
policies to address the situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
worse. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the total
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
of hours per week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that no organization can take undue advantage of its employees and
also
mention the repercussions in case of non-compliance. It could
also
set up an employee grievance system available
Replace by the typographical symbol.
24*7
for employers to take it
seriously
.

IELTS essay In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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