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The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. with this opinion? 5dWp
It is considered that nowadays young people specifically are facing lot of issues in their lives. For instance: Juvenile delinquency. Which increased because now women those are married go for work and children don’t get proper care at home. In my opinion, I agree with this statement. The primary reason is that in the childhood age the children need the mother more rather than anything else because she is the only one who can take care of their children. She nurtures their children properly in order to raise him or her properly which particularly become the base of the successful life of the children. The mother is the only one who has lot of influence on children, whereas children learn and follow the guidance whatever their mother gives them. However, women those have less time because they spend all their time at work are not able to make close connection with children due to which children take wrong decision and gets offtrack from their path. They have less affection with their parents which leads them to the wrong direction. For Instance: In developed countries like U. S, Canada, Japan, women are busy particularly in making money, while their children get in wrong society which make them to get indulge in illegal activities such as drugs. In Conclusion, women are the one who can uplift their child properly as her influence and close connection with their children matter a lot particularly to give right guidance to the child in order to make child future brighter.
It
is considered
that nowadays young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
specifically
are facing
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
issues in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
: Juvenile delinquency. Which increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
those
are married
go for work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper care at home. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

The primary reason is that in the childhood age the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need the mother more
rather
than anything else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one who can take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. She nurtures their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
properly
in order to raise him or her
properly
which
particularly
become the base of the successful life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The mother is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one who has
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn and follow the guidance whatever their mother gives them.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
those have less time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend all their time at work are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
close connection with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
offtrack from their path. They have less affection with their parents which leads them to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction.
For Instance
: In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
like U. S, Canada, Japan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are busy
particularly
in making money, while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
society which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
indulge in illegal activities such as drugs.

In Conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are the one who can uplift their child
properly
as her influence and close connection with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
matter a lot
particularly
to give right guidance to the child in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
child future brighter.

IELTS essay The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.