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In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so? pRKn9
In recent times, around the certain parts of the world, young learners are being stimulated to get a job or to travel right after the completetion of their higher education to get their mind prepared for their further education. Hence, this development has certain positive and negative outcomes to be considered. On the one hand, self-confidence is one of the major advantages of getting into job because It helps to empower students with sense of confidence and reliability. For instance, is is often seen that students who do so apprantly are more active and frequently employed than other who do not. Infact, not only the Self esteem but it also aids to make them financially stable as they earn along with their education which proves to be a helping hand for their families at times. Last but not the least, creativity is the another sure advantage because they often get opportunities to meet new people and to understand the current market scenario; therefore, this makes them tuffer and more productive than ever. On the other hand, mind distraction is the most prominent drawback as majority of young adults feel more independent and certainly indulge themselves into anti-social activities while moving around world or working somewhere in their early phase of life, and eventually their academic grades get affected which is clearly unacceptable anyway. In addition, this change sometimes assists to narrow their future scope as some of them give-up their university education believing, they are mature enough to earn and to manage their future expences. In conclusion, despite all the above justification, it is clearly showcased that this development has more beneficial aspects than the drawbacks because it is always once personel choice to pick one direction for their life.
In recent times, around the certain parts of the world, young learners are
being stimulated
to
get
a job or to travel right after the
completetion
of their higher
education
to
get
their mind prepared for their
further
education
.
Hence
, this development has certain
positive
and
negative
outcomes to
be considered
.

On the one hand, self-confidence is one of the major advantages of getting into job
because
It
helps
to empower students with sense of confidence and reliability.
For instance
, is is
often
seen
that students who do
so
apprantly
are more active and
frequently
employed than other who do not.
Infact
, not
only
the Self esteem
but
it
also
aids to
make
them
financially
stable as they earn along with their
education
which proves to be a helping hand for their families at times. Last
but
not the least, creativity is the another sure advantage
because
they
often
get
opportunities to
meet
new
people
and to understand the
current
market scenario;
therefore
, this
makes
them
tuffer
and more productive than ever.

On the other hand
, mind distraction is the most prominent drawback as
majority of
young adults feel more independent and
certainly
indulge themselves into anti-social activities while moving around world or working somewhere in their early phase of life, and
eventually
their academic grades
get
affected
which is
clearly
unacceptable anyway.
In addition
, this
change
sometimes
assists to narrow their future scope as
some
of them give-up their university
education
believing, they are mature
enough
to earn and to manage their future
expences
.

In conclusion
, despite all the above justification, it is
clearly
showcased that this development has more beneficial aspects than the drawbacks
because
it is always once
personel
choice to pick one direction for their life.
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IELTS essay In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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