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in some countries people do not care of their health that causes an overweight

in some countries people do not care of their health that causes an overweight nd21E
An amount of people having a big weight is raising and find themselves in health problem. What is the main issue of increasing overweight people in community? What is the solution for this problem? There are many reasons of being fat. For instance: low physical activity, consuming a big deal of food, genetic problems. All of these listed factors have a great impact on humans’ body and cause health troubles, which should not be ignored. This problem is actual almost in every country. For example, some individuals prefer to have a lunch with junk food, when they are given a break for lunch. Another community would like to stay home without any activeness which cause laziness and overweight too. Some people eat a lot and do not calculate eaten calories. Nowadays, there are plenty quantities of cafés which supply people with junk food. As well as eating fast and continuing work, it has a negative side which calls for obesity in humans. If an obesity caused by genetic functioning, it will be difficult to deal with it in their own, as they have a propensity which does not depend on them. Finely, people should not consume too much food. At least, eaten calories ought to be calculated. In conclusion, individuals do not have to eat huge amount of food. Secondly, they should go for a walk to lose weight fast.
An amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
weight is raising and find themselves in health problem. What is the main issue of increasing overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in community? What is the solution for this problem?

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
For instance
: low physical activity, consuming a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, genetic problems. All of these listed factors have a great impact on humans’ body and cause health troubles, which should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. This problem is actual almost in every country.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals prefer to
When we speak of types of meals, the article is not required: "have lunch".
have a lunch
with junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a break for lunch. Another community would like to stay home without any activeness which cause laziness and overweight too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat a lot and do not calculate eaten calories.

Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
quantities of cafés which supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
As well
as eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and continuing work, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side which calls for obesity in humans. If an obesity caused by genetic functioning, it will be difficult to deal with it in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, as they have a propensity which does not depend on them.
Finely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not consume too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. At least, eaten calories ought to
be calculated
.

In conclusion
, individuals do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
eat huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Secondly
, they should go for a walk to lose weight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
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IELTS essay in some countries people do not care of their health that causes an overweight

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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