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In some countries, owning home rather than renting one is very important for the people. Why might this be the case?

In some countries, owning home rather than renting one is very important for the people. Why might this be the case? QyJy
Deciding factor for choosing the place where you want to live is depends a lot by surrounding environment. For instance, If you want to live in the city area, the real estate price is calculate mostly by the land size and not the building. So it is better and cheaper option is rent a home in apartment. However in some part of area or country, many people have an opinion that it is better to own a home rather than renting one. In my perspective, there is a positive situation to have an own property such as home because it is the valuable source for live, Firstly, renting a place to live like small apartment for one person is quite cheap in the crowded area like big cities. However, for the family that want to live it is better option to choose the bigger apartment or house to live and to rent such a bigger house is so expensive because it is owned by other people for the business purpose. For that reason, It is important to buy a house rather than renting one. Another factor is the unstable economy situation can happen and affecting the way people live. One of the most common situation is inflation and recession. If the place nearby has a new infrastructure like train station, the land price is automatically increase drastically because of demand by the contractor or property owner who want to sell it for more expensive. For that reason, It is important for the residence to own a home so it would not effected by that. In conclusion, the deciding factor is depend by the situation and the environment in the place that you want to live. Nevertheless, it is a much better to considering owning a home rather than renting the home because it has more positive impact than the negative impact.
Deciding factor for choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
is
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
a lot by surrounding environment.
For instance
, If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city area, the real estate price is
Consider using a past participle here: "calculated".
calculate
mostly
by the land size and not the building.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and cheaper option is rent a home in apartment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of area or country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have an opinion that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
one. In my perspective, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
to have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
property such as home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the valuable source for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
apartment for one person is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
in the crowded area like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
However
, for the family that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option to choose the bigger apartment or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and to rent such a bigger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for the business purpose. For that reason, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
one.

Another factor is the unstable economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
can happen and affecting the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. One of the most common
Please check whether a plural form of 'situation' should be used.
situation
is inflation and recession. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
nearby has a new infrastructure like train station, the land price is
automatically
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
drastically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of demand by the contractor or property owner who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to sell it for more expensive. For that reason, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the residence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would not
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "effect"
effected
by that.

In conclusion
, the deciding factor is
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depend on".
depend
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and the environment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
Nevertheless
, it is a much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to considering owning a home
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
the home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.

IELTS essay In some countries, owning home rather than renting one is very important for the people. Why might this be the case?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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