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in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might this be a case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation

Owning your own home is a crucial issue in everyone's life. Having your home represents your safety and making you feel secured and not feared of being homeless once a day. It is very cruel to imagine anyone' s life without a shelter. However, it is extremely expensive to buy your own home and it may cost up to hundred thousands or even millions pounds. Additionally, not every person can afford buying his house. Sometimes, you are enforced to buy a small house in a remote area because of your limited budget. It is also costly to furniture your house. Accordingly, renting a home may be an alternative option where you pay a rent on monthly basis and you can share the rent with other partners. For example, I can not buy my own house now, as I spend all my money on my post graduate studies and I have to travel and work in gulf area to have enough budget to buy my house. Although, the government offer houses at lower prices but still employees with limited income can not afford it. Thus, I think that owning your own house is the most vital issue in your life and when it is done, it is a very positive step.
Owning your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home is a crucial issue in everyone's life. Having your home represents your safety and making you feel secured and not feared of being homeless once a day. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cruel to imagine
There probably shouldn’t be a space after the apostrophe.
anyone' s
life without a shelter.

However
, it is
extremely
expensive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
it may cost up to
Use “a hundred” or use a number before ‘hundred’.
hundred
thousands or even millions pounds.
Additionally
, not every person can afford
If ‘afford’ is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: “to buy”.
buying
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, you
are enforced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in a remote area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of your limited budget. It is
also
costly to furniture your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Accordingly
, renting a home may be an alternative option where you pay a rent on monthly
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
basis and
you can share the rent with other partners.

For example
, I can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, as I spend all my money on my post graduate studies and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel and work in gulf area to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Although, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
at lower prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
employees with limited income can not afford it.

Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that owning your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is the most vital issue in your life and when it
is done
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step.

IELTS essay in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might this be a case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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