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in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Home has been playing a crucial role in humans’ life. Nowadays, people are owning a home day by day to live in it peacefully, rather than renting a single house. It is beneficial for some people not for all. In my view, it has boons as well as banes. I will provide both situations in further paragraphs. Firstly, in a positive view, it is more advantages for those who have a full family and they are living together, enhance, they have been living for a long time in one country. Consequently, they do not have to pay money as rent, if they have already paid money for their home. Furthermore, even the person does not have to hesitate about all facilities in their home, because if living in a rent house, they have to ask first then apply for facilities. Moreover, they do not have tension related to complaints from the owner as compared to rent residents. For instance, in last recent survey of the owners of houses, now era, the numbers of people buy their own accommodations, and the ratio is more than 70% than previous two years. On the other hand, in the disadvantaged view, it is a negative situation for those who have just recently moved to a new country for a job or further study. They can not afford a large amount of money, at that moment, for owning a shelter an account of moving to a new country so they might jobless. In addition, if someone wants to live for around two months and after he wants to leave the country, so the rent house is so convenient than own home. For exemplify, according to Hindu news, the person, who just has moved to a new country, chooses the first rent house, mostly, the percentage about more than 80% for immigration. To recapitulate, buying a home is more suitable for humankind who have been living more than years in one country. They ought to buy their own house, however, it is depending on the person. Whether they can afford to buy, or not. The rent house for most new citizens in-country, they do give prior to renting resident rather than own shelter
Home has been playing a crucial role in humans’ life. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb ‘own’ can be stative. If ‘owning’ describes a state, change the sentence structure and use the base form of the verb.
are owning
a home day by day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in it
peacefully
,
rather
than renting a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. It is beneficial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not for all. In my view, it has boons
as well
as banes. I will provide both situations in
further
paragraphs.

Firstly
, in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view, it is more advantages for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a full
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together, enhance, they have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
for a long time in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Consequently
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay money as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
, if they have already paid money for their home.
Furthermore
, even the person does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hesitate about all facilities in their home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ask
first
then apply for facilities.
Moreover
, they do not have tension related to complaints from the owner as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
residents.
For instance
, in last recent survey of the owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
era, the numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
accommodations, and the ratio is more than 70% than previous two years.

On the other hand
, in the disadvantaged view, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
situation for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for a job or
further
study. They can not afford a large amount of money, at that moment, for owning a shelter an account of moving to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
The word ‘jobless’ is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
might jobless
.
In addition
, if someone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for around two months and after he wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home. For exemplify, according to Hindu
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, the person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, chooses the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
,
mostly
, the percentage about more than 80% for immigration.

To recapitulate, buying a home is more suitable for humankind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
more than years in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
,
however
,
In formal speech, it is preferable to avoid the progressive form in this case.
it is depending on
the person. Whether they can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, or not. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
citizens in-country, they do give prior to renting resident
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
shelter
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IELTS essay in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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