Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? mBXq
Nowadays, there is a phenomenon that many people try hardly to afford a private house instead of renting one in some countries，even if it cause a decrease of their living standard. From my perspective, traditional culture and unstable economic lead to this case and I argue negative attitude about it. First of all, the traditional opinion about searching a sense of belongings encourage people to own their individual home. A telling example is Chinese, in China, almost all of people would receive the education of home, downtown and motherland. Therefore, this nearly stubborn thinking guide citizens to come true a dream of perfect home, which is obvious not belong to a rent flat. In addition, the gradually unstable economic situation in some countries also increase this case. Such as, house shortage, losing job, peer pressure and so forth, which all foster unsafe atmosphere among people. Under this heavy stressful environment, holding a private house to save wealth or invest is almost the best way to cope with the rapid change times. Regarding this case, in my opinion, it have an unpleasant impact on individual and society. Although it may track to personal choice, adjusting view to meet the big pressure of buying a house is needed. Otherwise, the happiness of individual would be threated by endless competition. What's more, easier loan system is an alarm bell for the economic development, which had been proved by the US in 2008. In conclusion, culture and economic situation influence this idea and it is not a good signal for individual and society, escepially for some developing countries.
Nowadays, there is a phenomenon that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'try'.
try hardly
to afford a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
instead
of renting one in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "countries, even".
countries，even
if it
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
a decrease of their living standard. From my perspective, traditional culture and unstable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
lead to this case and I argue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude about it.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the traditional opinion about searching a sense of belongings encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
home. A telling example is Chinese, in China, almost all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would receive the education of home, downtown and motherland.
Therefore
, this
nearly
stubborn thinking guide citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true a dream of perfect home, which is obvious not belong to a rent flat.
In addition
, the
gradually
unstable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
situation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
also
increase this case. Such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
shortage, losing job, peer pressure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth, which all foster unsafe atmosphere among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Under this heavy stressful environment, holding a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
to save wealth or invest is almost the best way to cope with the rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
times.

Regarding this case, in my opinion, it
Did you mean "has"?
have
an unpleasant impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and society. Although it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
to personal choice, adjusting view to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
pressure of buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is needed
.
Otherwise
, the happiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
threated
by endless competition. What's more, easier loan system is an alarm bell for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development, which had
been proved
by the US in 2008.

In conclusion
, culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
situation influence this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
signal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and society,
Possible spelling mistake found.
escepially
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.