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In some countries,owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Every individual dreams of owning different properties. Some say they dream of a vehicle, some dream of education and some dream of owning their own house. In our country, people are forced to have a house of their own. For instance, if we are brought up in a middle class family who lives in a rented home, the children in that family might hear, that having a home of their own is a blessing from God. Moreover, this will be repeated as the children grows up and hence influences the child that having a home of their own is an important perspective in the society. This may mislead the child as he grows older. The person may try to achieve his goal by taking loans, mortgage, etc. which may not be affordable to him. Therefore, these perspectives may result in a huge debt. However, owning something gives us more relaxation and stress free. For instance, a scratch on a wall or some damages with the fixtures in a rented house may cause trouble, also we may have to fight with the house owner to replace the item. Whereas, if the situation occurs in our own home, we have the complete authority to do whatever we need. This relieves our stress. To conclude, I feel owning a home rather than renting one is important for better living and freedom. People can build their own homes as per their financial backup and not to show off in the society.
Every individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
properties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
of a vehicle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
of education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

In our country,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are forced
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For instance
, if we
are brought
up in a middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a rented home, the children in that family might hear, that having a home of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is a blessing from God.
Moreover
, this will
be repeated
as the children grows up and
hence
influences the child that having a home of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
perspective in the society. This may mislead the child as he grows older. The person may try to achieve his goal by taking loans, mortgage, etc. which may not be affordable to him.
Therefore
, these perspectives may result in a huge debt.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
something gives us more relaxation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free.
For instance
, a scratch on a wall or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damages with the fixtures in a rented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
may cause trouble,
also
we may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fight with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
owner to replace the item. Whereas, if the situation occurs in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home, we have the complete authority to do whatever we need. This relieves our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To conclude
, I feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a home
rather
than renting one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for better living and freedom.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
as per their financial backup and not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in the society.

IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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