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In some countries ,owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case?Do you think this is positive or negative situation.

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation. M2nL
In Nepal 80% of people have their own house, while 20% leave in rented house. it is believed that in some nations individual buy house rather leave in rent. This is because in many countries having house is linked with the social status. This essay will discuss some of the negative side of owing house. To embark on, in developing countries like Nepal where per capital income is very low compared to other countries, individual do not have enough money to buy house, but they take the loan form the bank and purchase their dream home. Because having house is considered as having great status in society. Furthermore, every Nepali dream is to buy home at any point of life so, their primary focus is their dream home. Cosequently, people cannot repay the bank loan and have to live curse life, which result in sucide of many people. On the other hand, as many people spend lot of money in this type of materialistic things. Money freeze is one side and country and people cannot develop. If money is invested on business rather than house lot of job opportunity is created and all the people have high standard of living. But in some countries the case is opposite and due to this reason many people have to live in poverty and country lacks behind. For instance, in USA people leave in rent and invest that money in business souse has more employment opportunities than other countries. In conclusion, it is irrefutable that more money is spend of owing house in majority of the nations and lowest percentage of people stay in others house in a rent. 4
In Nepal 80% of
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people
have their
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own
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house
, while 20%
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leave
in rented
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house
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is believed
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
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house
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
in rent. This is
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because
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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countries
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is linked
with the social status. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of owing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

To embark on, in developing
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countries
like Nepal where per capital income is
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very
low compared to
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other
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countries
, individual do not have
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enough
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money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
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house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they take the loan
Did you mean "from"?
form
the bank and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their dream home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is considered
as having great status in society.
Furthermore
, every Nepali dream is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
home at any point of life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, their primary focus is their dream home.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cosequently
,
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people
cannot repay the bank loan and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
curse life, which result in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucide
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
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other
hand, as
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many
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people
spend lot of
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money
in this type of materialistic things.
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Money
freeze is one side and
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country
and
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people
cannot develop. If
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money
is invested
on business
rather
than
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house
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
job opportunity
is created
and all the
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people
have high standard of living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in
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some
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countries
the case is opposite and due to this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poverty and
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country
lacks behind.
For instance
, in USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
in rent and invest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in business souse has more employment opportunities than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

In conclusion
, it is irrefutable that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
of owing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the nations and lowest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay in others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in a rent.

4
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IELTS essay In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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