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In the developed world, the average life expectancy is increasing

In the developed world, the average life expectancy is increasing NEB0
Ageing population is happening increasingly rapid. The life expectancy of people is much more than ever before among industrialized nations. This essay will discuss the main problems of such patterns as well as possible measures that could be taken to mitigate this effects. There are various issues associated with ageing population in modern societies. Firstly, people are faced with the high costs of living because the govenment have to spend a lot of money on care facilities of elderly people. This would force them to pay too much tax to the government to provide more the health and safety services. Secondly, when people age and then retire from their positions, the country is left without the number of employees it once had. In Canada, for example, there are a shortage of young experts who have the ability of working to replace old people. In short, a lack of young workforce can be damaging to that country's society. While the problems may seem intractable, there are solutions available. The first solution is that the government consider free medical services for the aged who able to retire later. This would help them to live with better health standards and contribute to society for a longer period of time. Another option would be to increase in the retriment age. If, for instance, a worker could work more years, one's pension would be risen. In addition, he or she would allow to transmit nuanced knowledge to younger generations in their respective fields. Overall, proposed facilities on old people and more working potential might just solve the problems caused. In conclusion, in today's advanced world, people expect to live for a long time. This essay discussed the problems associated with the ageing developed communities. While the issues are evidently clear, there are measures that could be taken to alleivate them.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Ageing' is British English.
Ageing
population is happening
increasingly
rapid. The life expectancy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is much more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
among industrialized nations. This essay will discuss the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of such patterns
as well
as possible measures that could
be taken
to mitigate this effects.

There are various issues associated with
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population in modern societies.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are faced
with the high costs of living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
govenment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on care facilities of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This would force them to pay too much tax to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide more the health and safety services.
Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
age and then retire from their positions, the country is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without the number of employees it once had. In Canada,
for example
, there are a shortage of young experts who have the ability of working to replace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In short, a lack of young workforce can be damaging to that country's society.

While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
may seem intractable, there are solutions available. The
first
solution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
consider free medical services for the aged
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a able".
who able
to retire later. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with better health standards and contribute to society for a longer period of time. Another option would be to increase in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
retriment
age. If,
for instance
, a worker could work more years, one's pension would
be risen
.
In addition
, he or she would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Did you mean "transmitting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to transmit
nuanced knowledge to younger generations in their respective fields.
Overall
, proposed facilities on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and more working potential might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's advanced world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for a long time. This essay discussed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
developed communities. While the issues are
evidently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, there are measures that could
be taken
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
alleivate
them.
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IELTS essay In the developed world, the average life expectancy is increasing

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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