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In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Classical music is one of music genre that exist in this world. Classical music is identical with a legend musician such as, Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, etc. This kind of music used a lot of musical instrument for example, flute, violin, piano, trumpet, and drum. In some countries, there are some classical music concerts and sometimes it's related to some opera. Also, in some school there are class to learn classical music. This class' intend is to make young people like classical music because it has a nice sound and also some research reported the classical music could improve the development of baby's brain if pregnant women listen to this. Young people should explore classical music because from this we could learn how to compose a good music, create it from scratch. Different with pop or rock music that just kind of remix from the old music that already exist. It has a lot of varieties started from a happy song, sad song, or it could be a song that could be use as a prayer for some religion. Classical music related to opera because it has a lot of influence in some culture, like in Europe it's not a rare things to see something like this and also the classical musician were born from this country. In opera, where the drama mixed with music gives an incredible show because it's add the excitement, and also give the audience to feel more and immersed in the story. All in all, classical music should keep exist and not forgotten. We could achieve this by go to some concerts or learn and play classical music, so we could give some inheritance to our next generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genre that exist in this world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is identical with a legend musician such as, Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, etc. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible agreement error. The noun instrument seems to be countable; consider using: “a lot of musical instruments”.
a lot of musical instrument
for example
, flute, violin, piano, trumpet, and drum.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
concerts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it's related to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opera.
Also
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
' intend is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a nice sound and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research reported the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the development of baby's brain if pregnant women listen to this.

Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from this we could learn how to compose a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, create it from scratch.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
with pop or rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
kind of remix from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that already exist. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
varieties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from a happy song, sad song, or it could be a song that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as a prayer for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
religion.

Classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
related to opera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
influence in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
culture, like in Europe it's not
The plural noun “things” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a rare thing”?
a rare things
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
something like this and
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
musician
were born
from this country.

In opera, where the drama mixed with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
gives an incredible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the excitement, and
also
give the audience to feel more and immersed in the story.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
exist and not forgotten. We could achieve this by go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerts or learn and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we could give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inheritance to our
next
generation.
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IELTS essay In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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