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In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views? YL2LN
Basic education strengthens the roots the society. It is believed in many nations that basic education of a child should begin by the age of four whereas others believe that they should be sent to school once they turn seven or eight. I concur with the former notion that children must begin their very education when they are four years old due to the fact that they are fully grown to start learning and possess the appetite to retain basics. In case they are sent to schools ate the age of seven, they may develop a defensive approach to socialising and home-sick attitude. Scientific reports suggest that the hands of children can hold the pencil appropriately when they turn three and when they turn four their minds become capable to remember alphabets, letters, and even short sentences. Therefore, an early beginning is always suggested. Further, it is scientifically proven that children must begin cramming numerics, additions, substractions and multiplication of numbers once they are aged six years. As at six, whatever a child crams up will be retained by his/ her brain for entire life, for instance, children should be taught maths tables of upto 9 once they are six years old. On the contrary, if children will stay at home for longer, the only individuals he will see is his parents or his neighbours, few friends of parents which will restrain the growth of brain to few faces only. The children may be traumatised once he is exposed to his schools as he is unaware of his batchmates and teachers. It may be possible that they may grow defensive to going school and his instincts may insist upon him to adopt crowd-phobia. In addition, by the time children turns eight, he is adapted to homely environment which will result in home-sickness. As the surroundings change drastically his/ her brain may react in paralysis of swoting up. In conclusion, the parents must send their children to schooling institutions once they are aged four because this will help him adapt to changes quickly and reatin his early learnings. While further delays will lead to home-sickness and installing defensive approach to changes. Hence, I am of the opinion that early learning is the wise decision rather than begging it late.
Basic education strengthens the roots the society. It
is believed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations that basic education of a child should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by the age of four whereas others believe that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
seven or eight. I concur with the former notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
education when they are four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
due to the fact that they are
fully
grown to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning and possess the appetite to retain basics. In case they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
ate the age of seven, they may develop a defensive approach to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
and home-sick attitude.

Scientific reports suggest that the hands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can hold the pencil
appropriately
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
three and when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
four their minds become capable to remember alphabets, letters, and even short sentences.
Therefore
, an early beginning is always suggested.
Further
, it is
scientifically
proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
cramming
Possible spelling mistake found.
numerics
, additions,
Possible spelling mistake found.
substractions
and multiplication of numbers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
they
are aged
six years. As at six, whatever a child crams up will
be retained
by his/ her brain for entire life,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths tables
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
they are six years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

On the contrary
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will stay at home for longer, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
individuals he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
is his parents or his
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, few friends of parents which will restrain the growth of brain
Did you mean "too"?
to
few faces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may be
Possible spelling mistake. 'traumatised' is British English.
traumatised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
he
is exposed
to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as he is unaware of his
Possible spelling mistake found.
batchmates
and teachers. It may be possible that they may grow defensive to going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and his instincts may insist upon him to adopt crowd-phobia.
In addition
, by the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turns
eight, he
is adapted
to homely environment which will result in home-sickness.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the surroundings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
drastically
his/ her brain may react in paralysis of
Possible spelling mistake found.
swoting
up.

In conclusion
, the parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to schooling institutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
they
are aged
four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
quickly
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
reatin
his early learnings. While
further
delays will lead to home-sickness and installing defensive approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Hence
, I am of the opinion that early learning is the wise decision
rather
than begging it late.
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IELTS essay In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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