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In some countries, it can be very difficult for pople over the age 50

In some countries, it can be very difficult for pople over the age 50 PgXN2
In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. For me, age cannot be the main basis for work. There are some people over the age of 50 who have better work experience and skills. But people who recruit workers will be think that young people have youthful vigor. We always think that old people are not good for jobs where they need to work physically. There are numerous reasons behind this thinking, such as, we know that it will be hard for them to work fast as their younger friends. Moreover, they are more likely to have a history of disease because of their age. However, we may be forgot that they have expertise in some job, that means there is a high chance of doing the right thing. Additionally, they are less likely to injured from a job which they already know. I think, people over the age of 50 who want to work will be very dissapointed that they cannot develop their abilities more and they will think that they cannot help their family's needs, remembering that many parents still want to work to make their children and grandchildren happy without burdening anyone. Obviously, companies should make a department where they only hire elder people and the government shoul step in to save numerous kind of jobs in various industries for this age group people, where they can utilise their experience. As the conclusion, we need to change our minds about their age and think more and prioritize their experience whenever we hire them.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, despite their experience. For me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
cannot be the main basis for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50 who have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who recruit workers will be
Consider using a past participle here: "thought".
think
that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have youthful vigor.

We always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
physically
. There are numerous reasons behind this thinking, such as, we know that it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as their younger friends.
Moreover
, they are more likely to have a history of disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their age.

However
, we may be
Consider using a past participle here: "forgotten".
forgot
that they have expertise in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, that means there is a high chance of doing the right thing.
Additionally
, they are less likely to injured from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which they already know.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50 who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissapointed
that they cannot develop their abilities
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
more and
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their family's needs, remembering that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents
still
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their children and grandchildren happy without burdening anyone.

Obviously
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a department where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hire elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoul
step in to save numerous kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in various industries for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, where they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their experience.

As the conclusion, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our minds about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
more and prioritize their experience whenever we hire them.
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IELTS essay In some countries, it can be very difficult for pople over the age 50

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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