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in some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of the promblem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

in some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of the promblem, and what measures could be taken to solve it? DloDA
A convenient job is everyone needed. However, in some countries, people who are in 50 years old or over would find difficulties to get a better jobs. There are several factors why this issue that I will describe in this essay and probability soultion for this problem. Regarding to the issue, there are some reason why this happen. First, perhaps, the images of eldery people in society is less productivity. Moreover, companies also have a target to reach a lot of profits or want to acsomplish their work as better as they can. Therefore, when employees are recruited, they would eliminates people age of 50 or over. Second, recently, most of works are use technology. While, old people could not use technology properly, so it would distract their work. On the other hand, experience should be one of factor that companies have to consider because it could be helpful for their works. In general, old people might have a lot of experience, then, employeers should do not limit the workers age. Moreover, there is no guarantee for every old people work are not productive. For example, the notaris which is over 50 yeras old could work better because they have a lot of experience to solve their client problem, To sum up, althought people who already in 50 age or more but have a plenty of experience would not distract companies work. Therefore, companies should do not looking for employees age only. The limitation of age in requerement should be deleted so old people still could works.
A convenient job is everyone needed.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in 50 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
or over would find difficulties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better jobs. There are several factors why this issue that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
in this essay and probability
Possible spelling mistake found.
soultion
for this problem.

The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
the issue, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason why
The verb 'happen' is plural. Did you mean: "this happens"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this happen
.
First
, perhaps, the images of
Possible spelling mistake found.
eldery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society is less productivity.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
also
have a target to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
profits or want to
Possible spelling mistake found.
acsomplish
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
Did you mean "good"?
better
as they can.
Therefore
, when employees
are recruited
, they would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "eliminate"
eliminates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50 or over. Second, recently,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the works") or simply say "most works".
most of works
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology. While,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology
properly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would distract their work.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
should be one of factor that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could be helpful for their works.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, then,
Possible spelling mistake found.
employeers
should do not limit the workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Moreover
, there is no guarantee for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are not productive.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
notaris
which is over 50
Possible spelling mistake found.
yeras
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to solve their client problem,

To sum up,
Possible spelling mistake found.
althought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who already in 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
or more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
would not distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "look"?
looking
for employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. The limitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
requerement
should
be deleted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "work"
works
.
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IELTS essay in some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of the promblem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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