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Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some say it is government’s responsibility to limit sugar intake, while others say it’s individual who are responsible. Discuss both views and give you opinion?

Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some say it is government’s responsibility to limit sugar intake, while others say it’s individual who are responsible. ljRNJ
Humans need a smart mind and a healthy body the most to maintain their health, therefore we need to focus on eating well and controlling the use of sugary foods, such as those that are harmful to health. While some believe that everyone should stop consuming sweets on their own, many are of the view that the regime is responsible for this. This essay examines both sides before my final judgement. On the one hand, it is the duty of every human being to bring about a change in their diet, keeping in mind the importance of fitness, and to reduce the intake of sweets, like candies. Excessive consumption of sweets can lead to many diseases including obesity, tooth decay, increased triglycerides, as well as a fatal infection like heart disease. For example, a survey by dentists found that confectioneries, like chocolates, are the leading cause of many children's dental infection in India. That's why parents should make their children aware of the dangers of overuse of these products to prevent dental illness. On the other hand, the government should take drastic steps to curb the rising percentage of such goods in the market. The right is to market less sugary foods instead of harmful ones and to motivate all citizens to use them. As a result, people can take care of themselves and their children's fitness. For example, if the government encourages factories and companies that make low sweet products including fruit juices to bring more goods to market consequently, their consumption will also arise. As a result, they will be more commonly used by individuals and they will be able to protect themselves from over-consumption of sugary foods. In conclusion, I opine that the authority should also take steps to curb the over-consumption of confectionary items and it is also the responsibility of the public to control the over-consumption of over-sweetened products to make the whole country healthy and prosperous.
Humans need a smart mind and a healthy body the most to maintain their health,
therefore
we need to focus on eating well and controlling the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of sugary foods, such as those that are harmful to health. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
consuming sweets on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are of the view that the regime is responsible for this. This essay examines both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my final judgement.

On the one hand, it is the duty of every human being to bring about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their diet, keeping in mind the importance of fitness, and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the intake of sweets, like candies. Excessive consumption of sweets can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases including obesity, tooth decay, increased triglycerides,
as well
as a fatal infection like heart disease.
For example
, a survey by dentists found that confectioneries, like chocolates, are the leading cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children's dental infection in India. That's why parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their children aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of overuse of these products to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
dental illness.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take drastic steps to curb the rising percentage of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the market. The right is to market less sugary foods
instead
of harmful ones and to motivate all citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can take care of themselves and their children's fitness.
For example
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
encourages factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
products including fruit juices to bring more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to market
consequently
, their consumption will
also
arise.
As a result
, they will be more
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
individuals and
they will be able to protect themselves from over-consumption of sugary foods.

In conclusion
, I opine that the authority should
also
take steps to curb the over-consumption of confectionary items and it is
also
the responsibility of the public to control the over-consumption of over-sweetened products to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the whole country healthy and prosperous.
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IELTS essay Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some say it is government’s responsibility to limit sugar intake, while others say it’s individual who are responsible.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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