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Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What other measures do you think might be effective? kYg28
It is considered that increasing the price of petrol is one of the most important ways to curb escalating traffic and pollution problems. However, in my opinion, I completely believe that using other sustainable sources of energy like solar, wind and hydro will immensely help to tackle such issues Some measures need to be taken to eliminate these problems. First of all, it is necessary to encourage people to use public transport to reduce traffic. Thus, the number of cars on the roads will be reduced and pollution will be significantly reduced. In addition, I recommend using new generation technology. Large companies have begun to use both silent and electric cars. Manufacturers of these cars need to be encouraged to further develop this technology. It would be great for both people and the environment to sell at a price that people can afford. However, changing the vehicles used by people is not the only way to reduce traffic congestion. To solve this, we need to make public transport more convenient for people. For example, in large cities it is necessary to build enough underground and overground railways. In this way, it is possible to reduce traffic. For long-distance travel, discounts on train and bus tickets can discourage people from using their own cars. As a result, I think we need to teach people to use public transport more to reduce long-term traffic and pollution. Governments need to use public money to build and manage more efficient systems.
It
is considered
that increasing the price of petrol is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ways to curb escalating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution problems.
However
, in my opinion, I completely believe that using other sustainable sources of energy like solar, wind and hydro will
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to tackle such issues

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be taken
to eliminate these problems.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is necessary to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
Thus
, the number of cars on the roads will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and pollution will be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

In addition
, I recommend using new generation technology. Large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have begun to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
both silent and electric cars. Manufacturers of these cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be encouraged
to
further
develop this technology. It would be great for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment to sell at a price that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford.

However
, changing the vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. To solve this, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport more convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, in large cities it is necessary to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
underground and overground railways. In this way, it is possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. For long-distance travel, discounts on train and bus tickets can discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars.

As a result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
money to build and manage more efficient systems.
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IELTS essay Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What other measures do you think might be effective?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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