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In some countries,it can be very difficult for people over 50 to get jobs,despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of thidls problm , and what measures could be taken to solve it

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over 50 to get jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of thidls problm, and what measures could be taken to solve it bPGX
Old people are necessaries in country. However some countries people over the age of 50 find it difficult to get good job. Therefore, this essay will examine the main cause and solutions of this ongoing issue. The first cause of this issue is because of efficiency. The company in the modernized society must develop faster. So employee should use devices with high technology that it difficult to use or learn new somethings by olderly employee. In addition, they can have health issue because of age the problems are office sysdrome, low-energy and low memory to cognitive abilities decrease with ages. In order to solve this issue, employer should provide new position that do not use power or not work related with new technology. Such as, administation, consultation because ole people have huge experience and good dicisions, so they can have persuasive skill. Definitely company may be provide welfare in health more. The second cause happen because of salary. The big company hire employee follow by experience and age, so the old people employ have highest salary and they want to more salary. As a result, it is difficult for company to invest on them. However, that than develop to process or improve technology. In order, special bonus is increase for pay olderly people. When they be selected to promote shop. In order to solve this employee should have to hire the old people with normal rate salaries but give other benefit, such as increase vacation, offer new activities outdoor or restaurant and company should negotrate customs other property. In conclusion, the effects given observe can not be overlook imporved the effect for the betterment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are necessaries in country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50 find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

Therefore
, this essay will examine the main cause and solutions of this ongoing issue.

The
first
cause of this issue is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of efficiency. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in the modernized society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
develop faster.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
employee should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
devices with high technology that
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
somethings by
Possible spelling mistake found.
olderly
employee.

In addition
, they can have health issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
the problems are office
Possible spelling mistake found.
sysdrome
, low-energy and low memory to cognitive abilities decrease with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. In order to solve this issue, employer should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
position that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
power or not work related with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology. Such as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
administation
, consultation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
ole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have huge experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicisions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can have persuasive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may be
Consider using the past participle "provided"?
provide
welfare in health more.

The second cause happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
hire employee follow by experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
employ have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
salary and
they want to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
As a result
, it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to invest on them.
However
, that than develop to process or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
technology. In order, special bonus is increase for pay
Possible spelling mistake found.
olderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
they
be selected
to promote shop. In order to solve this employee should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hire the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with normal rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
give other benefit, such as increase vacation, offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
activities outdoor or restaurant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
negotrate
customs other property.

In conclusion
, the effects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
observe can not be
Consider using a past participle here: "overlooked".
overlook
Possible spelling mistake found.
imporved
the effect for the betterment.
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IELTS essay In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over 50 to get jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of thidls problm, and what measures could be taken to solve it

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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