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In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their product. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

In a number of countries, supermarket and junk food resorts want to do advertisement of their cusinies with the help of educational institudes through paid promotion. A number of masses believe that it is a positive enlargement. However, in this essay, I will discuss the reasons why I believe that it is the negative evolution. There are several reasons to support my view. The effective one is that they will promote unhealthy food. In other words, nowadays people are suffering from many disease because of the excessive take of junk food. Therefore, if they will promote it in schools. Schoolers will buy more fast food. In future, which will lead to many diseases and unhealthy lifestyle. For example, various institutes in guide can lie to child er about products and manipulate them. So that they can purchase it. In result, they will get crampt by the words. On the other side, there are a number of citizen who reckon that it is a positive development. For them, the main reason is that. If they give honest promotion of products. Children will get aware about the harmful effects of junk food as well. Moreover, they will get to know the reality. For example, there are numerous schoolers who follow their role model and celebrities in every way but they do not aware about the real life of them. Consequently, honest review will open their eyes. By the way of conclusion, I would say that although there is a positive effect of it in someway. Nevertheless, my belief is that it have more bad effects than good. Therefore, it is the negative development.
In a number of countries, supermarket and junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
resorts want to do advertisement of their cusinies with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of educational institudes through paid promotion. A number of masses believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
enlargement.
However
, in this essay, I will discuss the reasons why I believe that it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
evolution.

There are several reasons to support my view. The effective one is that they will promote unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In other words
, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the excessive take of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Therefore
, if they will promote it in schools. Schoolers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In future, which will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases and unhealthy lifestyle.
For example
, various institutes in guide can lie to child er about products and manipulate them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it. In result, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
crampt by the words.

On the other side, there are a number of citizen who reckon that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. For them, the main reason is that. If they give honest promotion of products. Children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware about the harmful effects of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
.
Moreover
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the reality.
For example
, there are numerous schoolers who follow their role model and celebrities in every way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not aware about the real life of them.
Consequently
, honest review will open their eyes.

By the way of conclusion, I would say that although there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect of it in someway.
Nevertheless
, my belief is that it have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Therefore
, it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

IELTS essay In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their product. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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