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Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with the help that is not financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The issue of helping poor countries is universally acquiesced upon. However, when it comes to how it should be, controversy arises; a large number of people claim that providing financial support is not a fruitful one and there are other advantageous ways to assist them as I will discuss now. Granting direct funding to poor countries to eliminate their difficulties is not a professional help and does not fundamentally handle those. As make them dependent nations, always need others’ financial assistance, which itself will transform into some trouble while being given the international corporation to seek the solutions for their challenging matters by themselves seems more beneficial. Take poverty in these nations as a notable example. Apparently, numerous inner factors have been contributing over several decades to form it and what they need is seeking its root to eradicate severe poverty. Consequently, finance is a superficial answer which creates a needy community instead of making them powerful to tackle their challenges. Undoubtedly, poorer nations must be helped but via an effective method that made them society with a robust economy. For instance, rich countries with stable economic conditions are capable to strengthen the local marketing of the poor countries through buying their regional products. In fact, If commodities and goods produced in disadvantaged countries being acquired by developed countries, this would be a great help to their economic cycle. With the economic boom that will ensue, therefore, the financial hardships of these countries are going to improve in the long run which causes to alleviate some of the foremost problems such as poverty. In conclusion, non-financial assistance from rich countries to the economies of poor countries will be more effective.
The issue of helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
universally
acquiesced upon.
However
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to how it should be, controversy arises; a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that providing financial support is not a fruitful one and there are other advantageous ways to assist them as I will discuss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Granting direct funding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to eliminate their difficulties is not a professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and does not
fundamentally
handle those. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them dependent nations, always need others’ financial assistance, which itself will transform into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trouble while being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the international corporation to seek the solutions for their challenging matters by themselves seems more beneficial. Take poverty in these nations as a notable example.
Apparently
, numerous inner factors have been contributing over several decades to form it and what they need is seeking its root to eradicate severe poverty.
Consequently
, finance is a superficial answer which creates a needy community
instead
of making them powerful to tackle their challenges.

Undoubtedly
, poorer nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
via an effective method that made them society with a robust economy.
For instance
, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with stable economic conditions are capable to strengthen the local marketing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through buying their regional products. In fact, If commodities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
produced in disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
being acquired
by developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, this would be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to their economic cycle. With the economic boom that will ensue,
therefore
, the financial hardships of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in the long run which causes to alleviate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the foremost problems such as poverty.

In conclusion
, non-financial assistance from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to the economies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be more effective.

IELTS essay Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with the help that is not financial aid.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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