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In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior , in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. A0dM
In today's world the problem of family education to children causes a lot of arguments and controversies. Family education is the first knowledge that we get, that is why it is vital to teach children in the right way. Some people believe that children have to follow strict rules of their actions whereas others think that it is incorrect to make children do what adults want to. From my point of view, I believe that children should behave in their own way. To begin with, it is necessary for children to develop their personality, that is why they should be allowed to do anything they want. Moreover, following severe rules leads to depression at young ages which might cause different diseases such as insomnia. According to the latest statistics, scientists claim that children that were free from strict rules in childhood, grow up as a creative, responsible and independent person rather than those who were follow rules of their behaviour. However, there is another opinion. Some people claim that if parents let their children do what they want to, it might lead to children grow up as a terrible person because they used to do what they want even if it is illegal. For example, my aunt believes that children cannot realise their actions and behaviour due to this, adults should control children. To sum up, despite my respect for this opinion, I cannot share it. I believe that children should not grow up in an overpressure habitat. It is significant for every person in the world to be independent. Nevertheless, opinions differ and people should choose what suits them best.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world the problem of family education to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
arguments and controversies. Family education is the
first
knowledge that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
,
that is
why it is vital to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the right way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of their actions whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is incorrect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do what adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to.

From my point of view, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should behave in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop their personality,
that is
why they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do anything they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
.
Moreover
, following severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
leads to depression at young ages which might cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases such as insomnia. According to the latest statistics, scientists claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that were free from strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in childhood, grow up as a creative, responsible and independent person
rather
than those who were follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

However
, there is another opinion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that if parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to, it might lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up as a terrible person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
even if it is illegal.
For example
, my aunt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
their actions and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
due to this, adults should control children.

To sum up, despite my respect for this opinion, I cannot share it. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not grow up in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
overpressure
habitat. It is significant for every person in the world to be independent.
Nevertheless
, opinions differ and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should choose what suits them best.
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IELTS essay In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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