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In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work

In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work oPXw
In the contemporary era, education and medical facilities Play a vital role in the societal development. People have split opinion on the approach that weather the government should force the newly graduated teachers and doctors to work in the countryside or it should be left them to decide. They have rights to opt their work place as far as I am concerned. I will examine both views and will corroborate my stance in the ensuing paragraphs. On the other hand, there are plethora of reasons that why they should work in rural areas. The first and foremost one is, people in remote places also need educational and medical facilities as much as people in the cities to make rural people more independent. Another noticeable reason is, it is government's responsibility to make sure that all citizens are able to get such teaching and health facilities. As a result, the government provides educational loans to some of the educatees, so those who are studying on government's grants must serve in less developed ares and support the government in its objective. On the other hand, in democratic countries, it is everyone has a right to choose where they work, no one can compel them. For instance, in india according to law of article 19(A) everyone is free to do whatever they want. Moreover, if they have to work even if they are not interested. Thus, they get disappointed and it may hamper the quality of their work. In addition to this, thay chances of brain-drain may increase and people may migrate to other countries if they are forced by the authority to work out of their comfort zone. To conclude, I would like to say that, according to law and to improve quality of work. It should be left to teachers and doctors to select their place of work.
In the contemporary era, education and medical facilities Play a vital role in the societal development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have split opinion on the approach that weather the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should force the
newly
graduated teachers and doctors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the countryside or it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
them to decide. They have rights to opt their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place as far as I
am concerned
. I will examine both views and will corroborate my stance in the ensuing paragraphs.

On the other hand
, there are plethora of reasons that why they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in rural areas. The
first
and foremost one is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in remote places
also
need educational and medical facilities as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the cities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more independent. Another noticeable reason is, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that all citizens are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
such teaching and health facilities.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides educational loans to
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
educatees
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
those who are studying on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's grants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
serve in less developed ares and support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in its objective.

On the other hand
, in democratic countries, it is everyone has a right to choose where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, no one can compel them.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
according to law of article 19(A) everyone is free to do whatever they want.
Moreover
, if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even if they are not interested.
Thus
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disappointed and it may hamper the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
In addition
to this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
chances of brain-drain may increase and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may migrate to other countries if they
are forced
by the authority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out of their comfort zone.

To conclude
, I would like to say that, according to law and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to teachers and doctors to select their place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.

IELTS essay In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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