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In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving this message?

As parents, people are often concerned about the very first lessons that they should teach their children. Because of the innocence of a child, what he has learned will have a great effect on his character. Discussing this problem, in some countries, many families teach their kids to put their effort on what they are doing to achieve their goals. This lesson, from my perspectives, can bring both advantages and disadvantages to children. First of all, there are some advantages of giving children this message. In fact, arduousness is something inevitable in our life. Therefore, we can only reach success if we try hard enough. For instance, to get a high mark, students need to focus on the lessons, doing exercises and prepare well for their exams. Similarity, people who want a high salary should notably have a good qualification, experience and industriousness. Besides, when a child is familiar with putting effort in everything they do, it can help create a positive and resilient spirit after suffering failure. Due to their strong will, they will easily become a successful man in the future. However, there are still drawbacks in acquiring this message from children. They may not understand the term “try hard” in a positive way. Instead, they think any tricks are allowed provided that they can get what they want. Specifically, students will be dishonest in their tests or workers will make an unwholesome competition with their co-workers. Moreover, when the results can not be as their wishes, they may be under pressure, stressful and anxious with everyone and everything. The negative feeling of jealousy will obsess their thoughts and their will. As a result, children will be vulnerable and hardly successful. In general, teaching children to try hard to achieve their goals is a useful lesson. However, parents should accentuate on the healthy ways that children should use instead of using tricks. If we can apply this message in a right way, our children will certainly become a good man for society.
As parents,
people
are
often
concerned about the
very
first
lessons
that they should teach their
children
.
Because
of the innocence of a child, what he has learned will have a great effect on his character. Discussing this problem, in
some
countries,
many
families teach their kids to put their effort on what they are doing to achieve their goals. This
lesson
, from my perspectives, can bring both advantages and disadvantages to children.

First of all
, there are
some
advantages of giving
children
this message. In fact, arduousness is something inevitable in our life.
Therefore
, we can
only
reach success if we try
hard
enough
.
For instance
, to
get
a high mark, students need to focus on the
lessons
, doing exercises and prepare well for their exams. Similarity,
people
who want a high salary should
notably
have a
good
qualification, experience and industriousness.
Besides
, when a child is familiar with putting effort in everything they do, it can
help
create a
positive
and resilient spirit after suffering failure. Due to their strong will, they will
easily
become a successful
man
in the future.

However
, there are
still
drawbacks in acquiring this message from
children
. They may not understand the term “try
hard
” in a
positive
way.
Instead
, they
think
any tricks are
allowed
provided that they can
get
what they want.
Specifically
, students will be dishonest in their
tests
or workers will
make
an unwholesome competition with their co-workers.
Moreover
, when the results can not be as their wishes, they may be under pressure, stressful and anxious with everyone and everything. The
negative
feeling of jealousy will obsess their thoughts and their will.
As a result
,
children
will be vulnerable and hardly successful.

In general
, teaching
children
to try
hard
to achieve their goals is a useful
lesson
.
However
, parents should accentuate on the healthy ways that
children
should
use
instead
of using tricks. If we can apply this message in a right way, our
children
will
certainly
become a
good
man
for society.
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IELTS essay In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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