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In some countries celebrities complain about the way media publicise their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as aprt of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries celebrities complain about the way media publicise their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as aprt of their fame. ERMQ
It is true that media publises a lot of information about celebrities private lives to the public and many celebrities complain about it in many countries. I disagree with the people who say that they should accept it as part of their fame. On the one hand, celebrities like to share news with public through social sites and media about their success. Some people opine that they should also share news through media about their private lives and media is always ready to share news about their private lives. There are many reasons behind their thinking. Firstly, people like them as their role models and they want to know more about their personal lives. Secondly, people also want to become like them and they want to follow their personal trends also such as, their living style, their fashion and many more. On the other hand, it is true that celebrities share their achievements and fame with public but they do not like the interference of media in their personal lives and there are several reasons of it. Firstly, it effects their privacy because there are many celebrities who do not like to share about their personal lives. Secondly, sometimes, media uploads the rumors about them to gain popularity among public which effects their career. Finally, it is not good for public as well as for media to know about anyone's personal life if they do not like to share news about their families or personal lives. In conclusion, I do not agree with the statement that celebrities should share news about their personal lives as a part of their fame.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible spelling mistake found.
publises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information about
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celebrities
private
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lives
to the
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public
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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celebrities
complain about it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. I disagree with the
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people
who say that they should accept it as part of their fame. On the one hand,
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celebrities
like to
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share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with
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public
through social sites and
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media
about their success.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
opine that they should
also
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share
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news
through
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media
about their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and
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media
is always ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind their thinking.
Firstly
,
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people
like them as their role
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
models and
they want to know more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Secondly
,
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people
also
want to become like
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they want to follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
trends
also
such as, their living style, their fashion and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
On the other hand
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their achievements and fame with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not like the interference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
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lives
and there are several reasons of it.
Firstly
, it effects their privacy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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celebrities
who do not like to
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share
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
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media
uploads the rumors about them to gain popularity among
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public
which effects their career.
Finally
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
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public
as well
as for
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media
to know about anyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life if they do not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about their families or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
In conclusion
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as a part of their fame.
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IELTS essay In some countries celebrities complain about the way media publicise their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as aprt of their fame.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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