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In some conutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.?

In some conutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them. ? xBm6
A true fact that is, peoples over weight increased because of that their had a lack of physical fitness can be obtained at few nations. I would like to enumarate them and suggest a few statergies to tackle these problem. First of all, there are manyfold reasons behind these kind of overweightage problem for public. One of the major problem is the junk foods and lack of excercise. What i want to say, most of the people like to eat fast foods from outside and this will plays a paramount role in the overweight problems in people. Subsequently, a large percentage of public are victims in these area. Moreover, this will keeps a significant as well as the detrimental for peoples helath. Due to that, a sedimentry life style can be acchived. Consequently, they offtenly persuade laziness whole in the daily life and this will cause a escalation in the body weight. Furthermore, due to the lazy life they will continuously effect a bad health because of the lack of exercise. A good illustration for this is, one of my neighbour he always choose for fast food and there was no excercise he has was effected a over body weight within recent months. Apart from that, to cope with these problems people want to avoid fast foods and also mitigate eating from outside. what I want to say that, keep cook fresh and extremely adequate foods in our home. In addition, do regular sports activities, such as running, gymnesium and swimming for a good health. Therefore, this will combat and eradicate all these problems from over weightage. for instance, my brother regularly do exercise and he always prefer to eat merely home food. In conclusion, over weight causes many disadvantages for peoples health and this was a stumbling rock for most of the people. Neverthless. i hoped that by regular exercise as well as a healthy food can be brake all of these problems from over weightage.
A true fact
that is
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that their had a lack of physical fitness can
be obtained
at few nations. I would like to
Possible spelling mistake found.
enumarate
them and suggest a few
Possible spelling mistake found.
statergies
to tackle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
manyfold
reasons behind
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweightage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for public. One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
. What
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want to say, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from outside and this will plays a paramount role in the overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Subsequently
, a large percentage of public are victims in
Did you mean "this area" or "these areas"?
these area
.
Moreover
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a significant
as well
as the detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
Possible spelling mistake found.
helath
. Due to that, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sedimentry
life style can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
acchived
.
Consequently
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
offtenly
persuade laziness whole in the daily life and this will cause
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
escalation in the body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
Furthermore
, due to the lazy life they will
continuously
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of exercise. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this is, one of my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "chooses", "chose".
choose
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and there was no
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
he has
was effected
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
within recent months. Apart from that, to cope with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
also
mitigate eating from outside.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
I want to say that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
cook fresh and
extremely
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in our home.
In addition
, do regular sports activities, such as running,
Possible spelling mistake found.
gymnesium
and swimming for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.
Therefore
, this will combat and eradicate all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
weightage.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, my brother
regularly
do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exercise and
he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "prefers", "preferred".
prefer
to eat
merely
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
health and this was a stumbling rock for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neverthless
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
hoped that by regular exercise
as well
as a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be
Consider using a past participle here: "braked".
brake
all of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
weightage.
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IELTS essay In some conutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them. ?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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