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In Some Areas Of The US Teenagers Are Not Allowed To Be Out Of Doors ...

In Some Areas Of The US Teenagers Are Not Allowed To Be Out Of Doors. . . OrKyG
In many parts of US, adoloscents are under ban at night. A curfew is imposed in some areas of america and it means the young people are not allowed to come out at night, they are not permitted to go out unless they are accompained by adults. In my opinion, this is a good initiative because this helps them to stay away from criminals and it also restricts them to get involved in illegal activities. Firstly, the basic reason for imposing a curfew for children at night is a good step, because most of the criminals will come out in the street at night. Childrens are mostly attracted by bad habits very easily and they will be at risk and comfortably caught by smugglers and even they can kidnap. Theives can steal their valuable and even they will hurt them. Therefore, a restriction of going out saves the child from bad people. For instance, the administration of UK found their has been 10% decline in the crime related to children after imposing a night curfew. Futhermore, declaring a ban at night is a good initiative which restricts children to get involved in immoral acitivities as smuggling. Smugglers take advantage of children and transport their illegal items like drugs and inreturn they gave them some money and after that if the child get caught this can ruin his whole life. For example, according to a report of 'Times of India' a news was published that drug smugglers are highly using the children for the delivery of drugs to their customers at night. In conclusion banning teenagers to go out after a particular time is a brilliant idea as it keeps children away from criminals and even they can stop more illegal activities.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of US,
Possible spelling mistake found.
adoloscents
are under ban at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. A curfew
is imposed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of
Possible spelling mistake found.
america
and it means the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
, they are not permitted to go out unless they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
accompained
by adults. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
initiative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to stay away from criminals and it
also
restricts them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in illegal activities.

Firstly
, the basic reason for imposing a curfew for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
step,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the criminals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out in the street at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childrens
are
mostly
attracted by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
easily and
they will be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and
comfortably
caught by smugglers and even they can kidnap.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Theives
can steal their valuable and even they will hurt them.
Therefore
, a restriction of going out saves the child from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, the administration of UK found their has been 10% decline in the crime related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after imposing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
curfew.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, declaring a ban at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
initiative which restricts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in immoral
Possible spelling mistake found.
acitivities
as smuggling. Smugglers take advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and transport their illegal items like drugs and
Possible spelling mistake found.
inreturn
they gave them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money and after that if the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught this can ruin his whole life.
For example
, according to a report of 'Times of India'
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "news".
a news
was published
that drug smugglers are
highly
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the delivery of drugs to their customers at night.

In conclusion
banning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to go out after a particular time is a brilliant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
away from criminals and even they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
more illegal activities.
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IELTS essay In Some Areas Of The US Teenagers Are Not Allowed To Be Out Of Doors. . .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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