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In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult.

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. oy7b
Although forcing adolescents to stay indoors after dusk limits their social activities with peers, it also restricts their involvement in risky and illegal behaviors which can lead to social and physical harm. (Explanation) The rate of bad behaviors, such as drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, and driving reckless increases three-fold during the night hours, after 10 pm, because of peer pressure at pubs, discos and house-parties. (Example – first-person voice and U. S. ) I saw a newscast that in New York the delinquency rate among minors had been 400% higher after 10 pm, and since imposing a curfew in 2018, this has dropped to less than half, thereby, alleviating pressure on parents and the public. This is one of two reasons that I am in support of implementing a curfew for minors.
Although forcing adolescents to stay indoors after dusk limits their social activities with peers, it
also
restricts their involvement in risky and illegal behaviors which can lead to social and physical harm. (Explanation) The rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors, such as drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, and driving reckless increases three-fold during the night hours, after 10 pm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of peer pressure at pubs, discos and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
-parties. (Example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
first
-person voice and U. S.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a newscast that in New York the delinquency rate among minors had been 400% higher after 10 pm, and since imposing a curfew in 2018, this has dropped to less than half, thereby, alleviating pressure on parents and the public. This is one of two reasons that I am in support of implementing a curfew for minors.

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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