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In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? bWrX
Teenagerhood is a tricky and highly sensitive time for parents and guardians. Some areas of the US impsed a law which by that teenagers can be out of home without an adult just until a certain time at night. They believe that it is a beneficial law due to the higher crime rates at night and also availability of inappropriate places for teenagers. I compeletely agree with this curfew and find it very considerate for parents. First and foremost, the research findings indicate that the crime rate and jouveniour delinquencies are significantly higher at late nights. Actually, streets and most places are empty at nights and criminals find it potential for stealing, mugging, harassments and so on. Therefor, parents and government prefer to keep teenagers who are a very vulnerable age, from these dangerous and harmful situations. For example, it has been claimed that most of the murders, threatens by gun and knifes recorded by US government happened after 11pm, especially at weekends. So, it is safe for teenagers to be at home after a certain time at nights. Moreover, some inappropriate places such as bars, night clubs which serve alcohol work at late night. Phsycalogically, teenagers are in a critical age that tend to experience adult things. As a result, crowded bars and clubs with amusing music are very attractive to them, and eventually can deceive them to try. On the other side, since these places are open and sometime have special offers at nights, many adults attend them, and consequently the number of accidents by drunk drivers is higher. Thus, parents are able to protect their teenagers by keeping them at home after a certain time at night. In conclusion, teenagers are in their sensitive and critical age and they need to be protected from inappropriate situations by their parents or gaurdians. It is mentioned that the crime rate is higher and also some inappropriate places like night clubs are available at nights. I believe, this curfew is successful to avoid teenagers from these inappropriate situations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Teenagerhood
is a tricky and
highly
sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and guardians.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
areas of the US
Possible spelling mistake found.
impsed
a law which by that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can be out of home without an adult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
until a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. They believe that it is a beneficial law due to the higher crime rates at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
and
also
availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
compeletely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this curfew and find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
considerate for parents.

First
and foremost, the research findings indicate that the crime rate and
Possible spelling mistake found.
jouveniour
delinquencies are
significantly
higher at late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nights
. Actually, streets and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are empty at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nights
and criminals find it potential for stealing, mugging,
Possible spelling mistake found.
harassments
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Therefor,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vulnerable age, from these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and harmful situations.
For example
, it has
been claimed
that most of the murders, threatens by gun and knifes recorded by US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
happened after 11pm,
especially
at weekends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is safe for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to be at home after a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at nights.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as bars,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
clubs which serve alcohol work at late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phsycalogically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are in a critical age that tend to experience adult things.
As a result
, crowded bars and clubs with amusing music are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive to them, and
eventually
can deceive them to try. On the other side, since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are open and sometime have special offers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nights
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults attend them, and
consequently
the number of accidents by drunk drivers is higher.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are able to protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
by keeping them at home after a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at night.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are in their sensitive and critical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they need to
be protected
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inappropriate
situations by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
gaurdians
. It
is mentioned
that the crime rate is higher and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
clubs are available at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nights
. I believe, this curfew is successful to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inappropriate
situations.
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IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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