Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult.

In many parts of the United States, teenagers cannot go outdoors without adult supervision during the late hours of the night due to the imposition of a ‘curfew’. In my opinion, this step robs them of their basic human right to move about freely and could even affect their confidence levels in adulthood. To begin with, being able to go outdoors is a constitutional right of all humans guaranteed by the US constitution. Preventing young people from going out at night without a parent or guardian is a bit like stripping them of that basic right. Of course, being out at late hours can pose many threats to the safety of teens. However, stopping them from venturing out is hardly the solution to this problem. Instead parents and teachers should make children aware of the vicious crimes such as looting, rape, kidnapping and substance abuse that are prevalent during the night hours. When children are equipped with knowledge, they will be able to better safeguard themselves and can be safely outdoors at any hour of the day or the night. Additionally, going out with an adult is not always a feasible option especially since many children have parents or caretakers who work late night. For instance, teenage children of doctors, nurses, paramedics and 24-hour store employees are usually alone at night. If these children want to go out at night, it is not always easy for them to find a familiar adult who can accompany them. This can put them in trouble if they have urgent errands to run or late night parties to attend. Even returning home alone from a friend’s or relative’s place at night can put them in trouble and such situations have to be avoided. To summarise, in my opinion, teenagers should be allowed to go outdoors at night. They should be empowered with knowledge and technology so as to safe-guard themselves from sticky situations. These steps will not only make them independent and confident but also give them the freedom to make their own choices in life.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the United States,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
cannot go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
without adult supervision during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
due to the imposition of a ‘curfew’. In my opinion, this step robs them of their basic human right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
about
freely
and could even affect their confidence levels in adulthood.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, being able to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
is a constitutional right of all humans guaranteed by the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
US constitution
. Preventing young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from going out at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
without a parent or guardian is a bit like stripping them of that basic right.
Of course
, being out at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can pose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
threats to the safety of teens.
However
, stopping them from venturing out is hardly the solution to this problem.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
parents and teachers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
aware of the vicious crimes such as looting, rape, kidnapping and substance abuse that are prevalent during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are equipped
with knowledge, they will be able to better safeguard themselves and can be
safely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
of the day or the night.

Additionally
, going out with an adult is not always a feasible option
especially
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have parents or caretakers who work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
For instance
, teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of doctors, nurses, paramedics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
24-hour
store employees are
usually
alone at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to go out at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
, it is not always easy for them to find a familiar adult who can accompany them. This can put them in trouble if they have urgent errands to run or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
parties to attend. Even returning home alone from a friend’s or relative’s place at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
can put them in trouble and such situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be avoided
.

To
Possible spelling mistake. ‘summarise’ is British English.
summarise
, in my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. They should
be empowered
with knowledge and technology
‘So as to’ expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using “to”
so as to
safe-guard themselves from sticky situations. These steps will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them independent and confident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give them the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices in life.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts