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In recent years, young generations have different perspectives about their career. While some people think that running a business is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that it is better to work for a company.

In recent years, young generations have different perspectives about their career. While some people think that running a business is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that it is better to work for a company. raynl
In recent years, young generations have different perspectives about their career. While some people think that running a business is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that it is better to work for a company. On the one hand, setting up a company can bring two main advantages for the young. Firstly, a young bussiness owner has to manage many aspects such as documents or recruitment, which might help them to gain leadership skills and become more competent. If they work in a company, they will not be able to learn new things. Secondly, working for their own company means they have total control over their business. As a result, they do not need to follow others’ orders. On the other hand, being employed has positive impacts on the young’s career. The first reason for this is that they can get a steady income monthly regardless of the performance of their company. If they are owning a business, they might face financial issues such as losses or bankruptcy. Furthermore, when working in a company, each individual can learn from others. For example, they can gain experience from their senior workers or even from their customers. This might help them to sharpen their working skills and prepare for their future ambition. In conclusion, owning a company could provide young people with better competence and the right to control their company. However, in my view, being employees is more beneficial because they can have a stable salary and chances to acquire knowledge from colleagues.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
their career. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that running a business is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I would argue that it is better to work for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the one hand, setting up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can bring two main advantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
owner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
manage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects such as documents or recruitment, which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to gain leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and become more competent. If they work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, they will not be able to learn new things.
Secondly
, working for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
means they have total control over their business.
As a result
, they do not need to follow others’ orders.

On the other hand
,
being employed
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young’s
career. The
first
reason for this is that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a steady income monthly regardless of the performance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. If they
The verb 'owning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are owning
a business, they might face financial issues such as losses or bankruptcy.
Furthermore
, when working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, each individual can learn from others.
For example
, they can gain experience from their senior workers or even from their customers. This might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to sharpen their working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and prepare for their future ambition.

In conclusion
, owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
could provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with better competence and the right to control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
However
, in my view, being employees is more beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can have a stable salary and chances to acquire knowledge from colleagues.
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IELTS essay In recent years, young generations have different perspectives about their career. While some people think that running a business is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that it is better to work for a company.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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