Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

in recent years,there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. what has caused this?What solutions can you suggest?

in recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. what has caused this? What solutions can you suggest? WyyMD
Owing to the unemployment and drug addition, in these days the crime rate has been significantly increased among youth particularly in urban areas. However, some remedial actions can be taken to address this problem. The most likely cause of this situation is unemployment. Nowadays, most of the young ones are without jobs despite having a high degree of qualification so that they are unable to fulfill their basic needs and other desires as well. But without jobs, they have dearth of money. Clearly, to get it, younger people prefer to commit the different types of crime such as thafting and robbery. This would also be attributed to drug addiction. Due to becoming habitual of drug consuming, they have also need of money to complete the desire of their drug consumption because they also have been disappointed by family members in the term of money. Therefore, the interest of them is increased to commit crime, only for the fulfillment of their drug desire. The most obvious solution to this problem is provision of job opportunities should be provided by the government so the youngsters can get these jobs and earn money with this, they could become eligible to complete their dreams as well as basic needs that are very imperative for everyone to survive. Another effective measure is strict rules and regulations must implement against the criminals who perform anti-social activities like stealing and robbery. Thus, the crime ratio can be deteriorated, especially in urban areas as having punishment and financial penalty as well. In conclusion, high rates of unemployment and drug addiction appear to be at the root of this problem. However, there are certain workable measurements in the form of ensuring job opportunities and implementing strict rules.
Owing to the unemployment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addition, in these days the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has been
significantly
increased among youth
particularly
in urban areas.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedial actions can
be taken
to address this problem. The most likely cause of this situation is unemployment. Nowadays, most of the young ones are without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
despite having a high degree of qualification
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are unable to fulfill their basic needs and other desires
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, they have dearth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Clearly
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it, younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to commit the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
thafting
and robbery. This would
also
be attributed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addiction. Due to becoming habitual of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
consuming, they have
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "needed".
need
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to complete the desire of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
consumption
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
have
been disappointed
by family members in the term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Therefore
, the interest of them
is increased
to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the fulfillment of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
desire. The most obvious solution to this problem is provision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities should
be provided
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the youngsters can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
with this, they could become eligible to complete their dreams
as well
as basic needs that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
imperative for everyone to survive. Another effective measure is strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
implement against the criminals who perform anti-social activities like stealing and robbery.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio can
be deteriorated
,
especially
in urban areas as having punishment and financial penalty
as well
.
In conclusion
, high rates of unemployment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addiction appear to be at the root of this problem.
However
, there are certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
measurements in the form of ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and implementing strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay in recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. what has caused this? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • in recent years,there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. what has caused this?What solutions can you suggest?