Search
Vocabularying
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking
1. Latest Topics
2. Speaking Club

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

In recent years the structure of a family and the rule of its members are gradually changing.

In recent years the structure of a family and the rule of its members are gradually changing. r8BOn

What kind of changes can occure? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? In the past few decades the patterns of family have greatly changed diversified. there are some changes regarding its organizations and members' rule. And in my opinion these changes can be seen as a progress. In the past, the main breadwinner in the family was a man. As the world progresses, in the family people of both sexes have become the main source of income. Moreover the number of housewives decreased slightly when they began to study on a par with men. As the result women have become more educated than in the past, therefore most women are able to support themselves and their families. From my perspective. this change can be considered as progress. First of all, children growing up in a full-fledged family will not have financial problems. The work of both parents gives children a good life, for example, expensive healthy food, high-quality clothing and the opportunity to study anywhere abroad or in their own countries. Secondly, work gives women the opportunity to enjoy their lives, achieve their success, goals, and be a full-fledged independent woman. In conclusion, on the basis of points mentioned above, I tend to believe that if the work of both parents will bring financial benefits to the family, it will improve the lives of their children.

What kind of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentadvanceadjustmentdiversityshifttransition
changes
 can Possible spelling mistake found.occuroccursoccur e
occure
? Do you This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 these You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentadvanceadjustmentdiversityshifttransition
changes
 are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:beneficial
positive
 or This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:adverse
negative
? In the past few decades the patterns of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withclantribegrouppeoplehousehousehold
family
 have greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :alteredadjusted
changed
 diversified. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterThere
there
 are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentadvanceadjustmentdiversityshifttransition
changes
 regarding its organizations and members' This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :requirement
rule
. And in my opinion these You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentadvanceadjustmentdiversityshifttransition
changes
 can be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
seen
 as Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "progress".progress
a progress
.

In the past, the main breadwinner in the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withclantribegrouppeoplehousehousehold
family
 was a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualresidentcitizen
man
. As the world progresses, in the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withclantribegrouppeoplehousehousehold
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 of both sexes have become the main source of income. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Moreover,
Moreover
 the number of housewives decreased slightly
 when they began to study on a par with This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsresidentscitizens
men
. As the result women have become more educated than in the past, therefore
 most women are able to support themselves and their families.

From my perspective. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterThis
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentadvanceadjustmentdiversityshifttransition
change
 can be considered
 as progress. This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, children growing up in a full-fledged You use this word too often, consider replacing it withclantribegrouppeoplehousehousehold
family
 will not have financial problems. The work of both parents gives children a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 life, for example
, expensive healthy food, high-quality clothing and the opportunity to study anywhere abroad or in their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 countries. Secondly
, work gives women the opportunity to enjoy their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :resides
lives
, achieve their success, goals, and be a full-fledged independent woman.

In conclusion
, on the basis of points mentioned above, I tend to believe that if the work of both parents will bring financial benefits to the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withclantribegrouppeoplehousehousehold
family
, it will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improve
 the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :resides
lives
 of their children. 