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In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? nrj2
It is very common nowadays that families are getting smaller in size and having a different role than before. In most of the cases families are becoming nuclear and roles are getting changed with the time. This essay will discuss which types of changes are occurring in families and whether it is advantageous or disadvantageous. Personally, I believe overall changes are Negative. We can see many changes in family structure as most of the families are now nuclear and so smaller in size. Morever women in families are now working. Due to nuclear nature, old people are now not a part of family whicch leads to increase in old age homes day by day. At the same time, both parents are working so daycare school concept for children is increased. role of grand parents are given to daycare schools nowadays. There are many reasons why i am considering thease changes as negative. First of all, people do not prefer to live with older people and send tem to old age home, where they are not taken care as same as home. It also put burden on the government. On the other side, children are now getting totally different atmosphere. As both parents are on the job and grand parents are at old age home, many time children feel alone and it affects their mental development also. Definitely, children would be raised with full of love and values with their grand parents compared to day care teachers. Full day school also affect negatively on children's mental development. To recapitulate, family structure and roles are changed and it affects negatively for children and grand parents so i would say it is negative development all over.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common nowadays that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are getting
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
smaller in size
and having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In most of the cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are becoming nuclear and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with the time. This essay will discuss which types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are occurring in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and whether it is advantageous or disadvantageous.
Personally
, I believe
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
.

We can
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see
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many
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changes
in
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family
structure as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
nuclear and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
smaller in size
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
women in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
working. Due to nuclear nature,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
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now
not a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
whicch
leads to increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
day by day. At the same time, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
daycare school concept for
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children
is increased
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
role
of
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grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to daycare schools nowadays.

There are
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many
reasons why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am considering
Possible spelling mistake found.
thease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
Possible spelling mistake found.
tem
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age home, where they are not taken care as same as home. It
also
put burden on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. On the other side,
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children
are
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now
getting
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
atmosphere. As both
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parents
are on the job and
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grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel alone and it affects their mental development
also
. Definitely,
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children
would
be raised
with full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and values with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
compared to day care teachers. Full day school
also
affect
negatively
on children's mental development.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and it affects
negatively
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "I"?
i
would say it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development all over.

IELTS essay In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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