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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? 3KLb
A number of local brick-and-mortar stores have closed lately because consumers prefer shopping in large malls increasingly more. Even though in theory smaller shops have the opportunity to move to malls, in reality it is not possible for them to sustain ruthless competition there, which brings the national economy to the brink of failure in the long run. The real estate market is saturated with huge shiny shopping malls that have proved to yield record profits compared to traditional local shops. It is for the reason that malls offer a much more streamlined shopping experience to consumers - allowing to make various kinds of purchases in one place without travelling across the city. However, with this seemingly advantageous opportunity customers are also manipulated by the carefully curated atmosphere in shopping centres that coaxes them into buying much more than planned or needed. Take a standard mall as an example - one can usually find there a food court, attractions for children, a long array of boutiques and a cinema only to entice consumers to stay longer and spend more. At the same time, conventional stores constitute the basis of the national economy, providing possibilities of self-realization for entrepreneurs who otherwise would not want to be regularly employed by a corporation. Furthermore, should consumers seek a diverse choice of products, it is not a good idea to shop in a mall where merchandise looks very similar across major brands. To illustrate, brick-and-mortar stores offer niche items that are much less likely to be worn by the majority of citizens like Zara clothes. In conclusion, there has been a negative trend for trade monopolisation because of the worsening rivalry local shops have to face from large brands. Hence, the closure of high street stores will result in consumers having to spend overall more money on shopping, while not necessarily being provided with a larger choice of goods.
A number of local brick-and-mortar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
have closed lately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
increasingly
more.
Even though
in theory smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, in reality it is not possible for them to sustain ruthless competition there, which brings the national economy to the brink of failure in the long run.

The real estate market
is saturated
with huge shiny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
that have proved to yield record profits compared to traditional local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. It is for the reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
offer a much more streamlined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
allowing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
various kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
in one place without travelling across the city.
However
, with this
seemingly
advantageous opportunity customers are
also
manipulated by the
carefully
curated atmosphere in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
that coaxes them into buying much more than planned or needed. Take a standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
as an example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
one can
usually
find there a food court, attractions for children, a long array of boutiques and a cinema
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to entice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to stay longer and spend more.

At the same time, conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
constitute the basis of the national economy, providing possibilities of self-realization for entrepreneurs who
otherwise
would not want to be
regularly
employed by a corporation.
Furthermore
, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
seek a diverse choice of products, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
where merchandise looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar across major brands. To illustrate, brick-and-mortar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
offer niche items that are much less likely to
be worn
by the majority of citizens like Zara clothes.

In conclusion
, there has been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend for trade
Possible spelling mistake. 'monopolisation' is British English.
monopolisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the worsening rivalry local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face from large brands.
Hence
, the closure of high street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
having to spend
overall
more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, while not
necessarily
being provided
with a larger choice of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
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IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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