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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development v.11

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development v. 11
Shopping centres play a major role in fulfilling people's daily needs. Nowadays, the increasing number of customers does their purchasing in malls, because of which small sellers are shutting their business. This essay will discuss why the growing number of malls has revolutionized the way people purchase, despite having some troubles for some local traders. Local merchants are struggling to compete with the shopping experience that highly sophisticated malls provide. These sellers are not just fighting to attract new customers, but also loosing regular customers who used to buy groceries and vegetables from their shop. Buyers are refusing to borrow from these shops where cost is slightly higher than the commercial centres for the same product. For example, a latest report depicts that more than 60 percentage of local shops are shut in the last 5 years in Mangalore city, after the opening of 2 luxurious plazas. These demerits are causing the sudden disappearance of the local markets. The majority of the purchasers experience the unique and the efficient way of buying goods from marts. Firstly, it will have the wide variety of shops such as clothing, food and electronics. Secondly, these centres provide discounts and return facility if the customer is not satisfied with the quality of the product. To illustrate, the LifeStyle, a clothing merchandise allow regular customers to exchange the product even after 45 days from purchasing in one of the marts in Bangalore. Admittedly, advantages are plenty in this system of buying items. To conclude, these days people want to purchase the best possible products in a very convenient manner. In my opinion, overall, shopping plazas have done more good to the society than harm, in spite of the fact that outdated small traders are facing loss of revenue.
Shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
play a major role in fulfilling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's daily needs. Nowadays, the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
does their purchasing in malls,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sellers are shutting their business. This essay will discuss why the growing number of malls has revolutionized the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troubles for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
local traders.

Local merchants are struggling to compete with the shopping experience that
highly
sophisticated malls provide. These sellers are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
fighting to attract new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
loosing regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
groceries and vegetables from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. Buyers are refusing to borrow from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
where cost is
slightly
higher than the commercial
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For example
,
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest report depicts that more than 60 percentage of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are shut
in the last 5 years in Mangalore city, after the opening of 2 luxurious plazas. These demerits are causing the sudden disappearance of the local markets.

The majority of the purchasers experience the unique and the efficient way of buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from marts.
Firstly
, it will have the wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
such as clothing, food and electronics.
Secondly
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
provide discounts and return facility if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
is not satisfied with the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. To illustrate, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
LifeStyle
, a clothing merchandise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to exchange the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
even after 45 days from purchasing in one of the marts in Bangalore.
Admittedly
, advantages are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
in this system of buying items.

To conclude
, these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the best possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient manner. In my opinion,
overall
, shopping plazas have done more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to the society than harm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that outdated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
traders are facing loss of revenue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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