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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoping centeres or malle to do their shoping.

Due to increasing malls, people have more attending to go big shopping center rather than local shops for shopping, that this issue is caused less a small shops in the city. In my idea, This action is not good. Now, I'm going to write about this matter that nor positive aspect. Nowadays, People are enthusiastic about buying in the shopping center and malls. In my idea, This matter is correct that they can find many famous brand in the mall and buying easily many thing that they want else and furthermore people believe that another advantage is free car parking and they have easily access to mall but we have to consider that many of clothes, shoes and many other brands, coming from local ateliers and because of selling in the mall those are very expensive. Such as, clothes, shoes, electronic equipment and etc. On the other side, We can find all clothes, shoes and many other things in the local shops with the same quality and cheaper than malls. In my opinion, If government and people help native shops for improve them in each neighborhood, We would observe same progress in all of city and that's cause less traffic and air pollution in the city so people haven't waste time in the city. In conclusion, We can buy most of our needs from local shops with same quality and cheaper than malls. People have to support them and finally if local shops continue to activities are many benefits for city and people.
Due to increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more attending to go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
shopping center
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
for shopping, that this issue
is caused
less a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in the city. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, This action is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I'm going to write about this matter that nor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are enthusiastic about buying in the shopping center and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, This matter is correct that they can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brand in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
and buying
easily
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: “many things”.
many thing
that they want else and
furthermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that another advantage is free car
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parking and
they have
easily
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of clothes, shoes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other brands, coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ateliers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of selling in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
those are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. Such as, clothes, shoes, electronic equipment
Write the name of the item after ‘and’ or use only “etc”.
and etc
.

On the other side, We can find all clothes, shoes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
with the same quality and cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. In my opinion, If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them in each neighborhood, We would observe same progress in
Consider using “all city” or “all of the city”.
all of city
and that's cause less traffic and air pollution in the
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
haven't waste time in the city.

In conclusion
, We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
most of our needs from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
with same quality and cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
support them and
finally
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
continue to activities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoping centeres or malle to do their shoping.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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