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People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Owning to new object is becoming a popular passion among the people these days and they work very hard to achieve it. Although this phenomena of buying new things make our life more comfortable and effortless, we are on the way of losing our culture and values thought by many. However, in my opinion to say that on the way of purchasing new things we are killing our culture and tradition this is a conservative statement. There are numerous reasons why I assume that trend of possession is not killing our culture value and tradition. Firstly, many modern gadgets which people buy play very vital role to learn about our culture and tradition in very efficient way. Moreover, this mechanism helps to speared and develop the values of culture in other societies across the world. Secondly, People are acquiring a way of possession and buying because they want to provide better lifestyle to their family and themselves but this does not mean that they are destroying their culture values. This basis behind the argument that we are killing our roots on the way of materialism that some people do not want to change their vision according to the time. People with such type of sight cannot understand that living good life style helps to represent in new way, in other words way of executing our culture and tradition is chnging with a time. In conclusion, Despite we are going on the way of possession and materialism, it is not strong reason to prove that we are killing our roots through it.
Owning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
object is becoming a popular passion among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
days and
they work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve it. Although
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life more comfortable and effortless, we are on the way of losing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and values
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
However
, in my opinion to say that on the way of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
this is a conservative statement.

There are numerous reasons why I assume that trend of possession is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
value and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern gadgets which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role to learn about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient way.
Moreover
, this mechanism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to speared and develop the values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in other societies across the world.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are acquiring a way of possession and buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to provide better lifestyle to their family and themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this does not mean that they are destroying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
values.

This basis behind the argument that we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
our roots on the way of materialism that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their vision according to the time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with such type of sight cannot understand that living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life style
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to represent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
way,
in other words
way of executing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
chnging
with a time.

In conclusion
, Despite we are going on the way of possession and materialism, it is not strong reason to prove that we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
killing
our roots through it.
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IELTS essay People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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