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In Recent Years Many Local Shops Have Closed Because Customers Travel To Large Shopping Malls

In Recent Years Many Local Shops Have Closed Because Customers Travel To Large Shopping Malls pJRWL
It is stated that small local shops have closed in recent years because there are large shopping malls for customers to do shopping. However, in my opinion, while I believe there are some negative impacts of customers using large shopping malls, I agree the benefits are much more alarming. There are plenty of benefits to customers from this development and the most significant benefit is that these large malls provide one stop solution to every need therefore it saves customer's valuable time and makes the experience of shopping hassle-free. And also these large malls have dedicated parking space to park customers vehicles without any inconvenience. Recent researches shown that 80% of the customers are preferred to go to large malls for shopping and gatherings to spend their leisure time. Another advantage is, it introduces vast amount of job opportunities as shop maintainers and workers. Nowadays, many international branded companies franchise their products across globe hence, this will generate mass employment opportunities to the local people directly and indirectly. On the other hand, local shop owners are losing their income as they are losing the customers to large malls. Only few customers buy products from small local shops and the available wide variety product ranges are very low. They are not able to compete with big shopping malls so as a consequence, they have to close down their businesses. To conclude, eventhough small local shops are getting closed due to large malls, the large malls have become easier for customers to do shopping and it generate vast employment opportunities that can be considered as a positive development.
It
is stated
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have closed in recent years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
However
, in my opinion, while I believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the benefits are much more alarming.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
from this development and the most significant benefit is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
provide one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
solution to every need
therefore
it saves customer's valuable time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
hassle-free. And
also
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have dedicated parking space to park
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
vehicles without any inconvenience. Recent researches shown that 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are preferred
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and gatherings to spend their leisure time. Another advantage is, it introduces vast amount of job opportunities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
maintainers and workers. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
international branded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
franchise their products across globe
hence
, this will generate mass employment opportunities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
directly
and
indirectly
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners are losing their income as they are losing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and the available wide variety product ranges are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low. They are not able to compete with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as a consequence, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close down their businesses.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are getting closed due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have become easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and it
Did you mean "generates"?
generate
vast employment opportunities that can
be considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
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IELTS essay In Recent Years Many Local Shops Have Closed Because Customers Travel To Large Shopping Malls

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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