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In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue? KXO6
Nowadays, the more skilled citizens of poorer country are wishing to immigrate to other developed nation for better payed jobs. In this essay, firstly, I will discuss the reasons for migration. Then, secondly we will look up on the solutions on how to minimize immigration of peoples for own land. Firstly, The job opportunities in the poorer county are comparatively low than the developing or the developed nations. Even though, the jobs in there county are filled by skilled citizens, they are not positioned in the work they desire. As well as the professionals are not getting the salary for there education value. Apparently, the discrimination between the people makes a huge pressure on skilled professionals. Most of the educated people wish to live a comfortable and easy life which cannot be provide by there native county. For example, in the developed countries the road and transport facility are more feasible to the peoples as they follow a good road constructions. Secondly, we will discuss on solving the list of problems with the help of government on increasing the considerable number of job positions with the help of multinational corporate. Consequently, the government of the nation should plan on increase there economy, this will help poverty level and working class people from moving them to abroad. Furthermore, the policies should be regulated on considering the working professional as they are the backbone of the nations growth. For example, recently in India the GST tax and other income tax has suffered peoples more not only the working class peoples but also the common citizens in there nation. On concluding the essay, people power is more necessary to every nation. As the country spends more than half of there tax money on educating the peoples, so every county should utilize the people man-power by regulating the policies to prevent there citizens from moving abroad.
Nowadays, the more skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of poorer country
The verb 'wishing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are wishing
to immigrate to other developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
for better
Only in a nautical context 'payed' is an acceptable past tense form of 'pay'. Please check!
payed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In this essay,
firstly
, I will discuss the reasons for migration. Then,
secondly
we will look up on the solutions on how to minimize immigration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
land.
Firstly
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities in the poorer county are
comparatively
low than the developing or the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Even though
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
Did you mean "their"?
there
county
are filled
by skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
, they are not positioned in the work they desire.
As well
as the professionals are not getting the salary for there education value.
Apparently
, the discrimination between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
makes
a huge pressure on skilled professionals. Most of the educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable and easy life which cannot be
Consider using the past participle "provided"?
provide
by there native county.
For example
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
the road and transport facility are more feasible to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
as they follow a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
road
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "construction"?
constructions
.
Secondly
, we will discuss on solving the list of problems with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
on increasing the considerable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
positions with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of multinational corporate.
Consequently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should plan on increase there economy, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poverty level and working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from moving them to abroad.
Furthermore
, the policies should
be regulated
on considering the working professional as they are the backbone of the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
growth.
For example
, recently in India the GST tax and other income tax has suffered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
more not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in
Did you mean "their"?
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. On concluding the essay,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
power is more necessary to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. As the country spends more than half of there tax money on educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every county should utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-power by regulating the policies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
from moving abroad.
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IELTS essay In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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