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In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? d5glp
As global wealth increases, there has been a surprising decrease in reported levels of happiness in developed nations. In my opinion, this is due to lifestyle changes and it teaches that money is merely a baseline requirement for happiness. The main reason individuals in wealthy nations are less happy today relates to how people live. In the past, people had fewer free time options and this led to more time being outside and socializing. Modern lifestyles are predicated around isolation. For example, the average worker or student after a long day is likely to spend at least a few hours watching movies on Netflix, messaging friends, checking social media, and listening to music. These 21st century habits would seemingly elevate happiness levels but they are in fact a passive means of achieving low levels of contentment and pleasure. In the aggregate, this minimum threshold of commitment pales in comparison to more substantial activities. The lesson from this development is that wealth is only the foundation of happiness. Many would claim that money has no relationship to happiness, however, this is naive since families living in poverty must obsess over simple matters such as shelter and sustenance. Money only serves to guarantee basic necessities and happiness is an active byproduct of action. This can be seen most clearly in nations that score high on happiness surveys such as in Northern Europe and Japan. Individuals in these countries tend to have more focused lives and feel they are part of a community and culture that requires active engagement. These societies prioritise involvement with others and community responsibility and shun the insular hobbies that have led to dissatisfaction in other developed nations. In conclusion, lower levels of happiness are due to modern ways of living and this illustrates the relative importance of wealth. Happiness itself should not be an aim but rather a result of pursuing worthier life goals.
As global wealth increases, there has been a surprising decrease in reported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in developed nations. In my opinion, this is due to lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and it teaches that money is
merely
a baseline requirement for happiness.

The main reason individuals in wealthy nations are less happy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. In the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had fewer free time options and this led to more time being outside and socializing. Modern lifestyles
are predicated
around isolation.
For example
, the average worker or student after a long day is likely to spend at least a few hours watching movies on Netflix, messaging friends, checking social media, and listening to music. These 21st century habits would
seemingly
elevate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are in fact a passive means of achieving low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of contentment and pleasure. In the aggregate, this minimum threshold of commitment pales
in comparison
to more substantial activities. The lesson from this development is that wealth is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the foundation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
would claim that money has no relationship to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
however
, this is naive since families living in poverty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
obsess over simple matters such as shelter and sustenance. Money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serves to guarantee
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is an active byproduct of action. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
most
clearly
in nations that score high on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
surveys such as in Northern Europe and Japan. Individuals in these countries tend to have more focused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and feel they are part of a community and culture that requires active engagement. These societies
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
involvement with others and community responsibility and shun the insular hobbies that have led to dissatisfaction in other developed nations.

In conclusion
, lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
are due to modern ways of living and this illustrates the relative importance of wealth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
itself should not be an aim
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
a result of pursuing worthier life goals.
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IELTS essay In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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