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In recent many local shops are closed because people travel to large shopping malls for shopping

In recent many local shops are closed because people travel to large shopping malls for shopping AjJMx
With the development in every aspect of life more and more people want to take advantages of all the luxuries facilities around them. Due to this, folks prefer to visit branded showrooms for shopping instead of s shops. For me, it is not constructive growth. I will explain the reasons of my statement in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, if people ignore small trades than no progress should be expected in the local towns. One example of this, individuals who are dependent on small business to earn their bread and butter unable to achieve their targets as no one wants to invest in their products. Due to this, small traders would not bw able yo continue their business who actually contributing a lot towards nation's economy. So, it would be downfall into nation's development. Another reason is that, large shopping premises charge almost double amount for the same products compare to the small shops. For instance, individual who visit mall to purchase makeup should have more money in his/her pocket in contrast of those who buy same brand in half price from local outlet. So it will vividly increase expenses of the common people which lead to the stress in the later. In addition, not everyone could afford the branded items. Especially underprivileged people who barely survive in their lives. To exemplify, small books store shut down because local wealthy people travel to malls for stationery shopping. Now, the student who belong to the poor family would not able to continue his/her study owing to high prices of books that are only available in the large markets. Furthermore, local trades are source of income to many. Closer of these business would lead to unemployment and poverty. To illustrate, to get job in high branded showrooms, large number of requirements should need to fullfill such as individual need to know how to operate computer, able to communicate in English. Hence, to become a part of the large business individuals should have high education and practical skills which are not require in every local business. To conclude, the diversity in the shopping habits of the people is critical factor for the development of the communities. The recent trend of the shopping in the crises but lead the people towards the consumerism. The government should form the fiscal and monetary policies to preserve the local shops in the competitive world.
With the development in every aspect of life more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to take advantages of all the luxuries facilities around them. Due to this, folks prefer to visit branded showrooms for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
instead
of s shops. For me, it is not constructive growth. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons of my statement in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
trades than no progress should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
towns. One example of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to earn their bread and butter unable to achieve their targets as no one wants to invest in their products. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
traders would not
Possible spelling mistake found.
bw
able
Did you mean "to", "you" or "your"?
yo
continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
actually contributing a lot towards nation's economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would be downfall into nation's development. Another reason is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
premises charge almost double amount for the same products compare to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
shops.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
visit mall to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
makeup should have more money in his/her pocket
in contrast
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
same brand in half price from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
outlet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it will
vividly
increase expenses of the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which lead to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
.

In addition
, not everyone could afford the branded items.
Especially
underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
barely
survive in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
books store shut down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel to malls for stationery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
belong to the poor family would not able to continue his/her study owing to high prices of books that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
markets.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trades are source of income to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. Closer of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
would lead to unemployment and poverty. To illustrate, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job in high branded showrooms,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of requirements should need to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
need to know how to operate computer, able to communicate in English.
Hence
, to become a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should have high education and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are not
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business.

To conclude
, the diversity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is critical factor for the development of the communities. The recent trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in the crises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the consumerism. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should form the fiscal and monetary policies to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops in the competitive world.
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IELTS essay In recent many local shops are closed because people travel to large shopping malls for shopping

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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