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In poorer families, school children may have to work part-time as well as study

In poorer families, school children may have to work part-time as well as study aqARY
It has benn observed that the juvenile who belong to financial weaker family have to do struggle for earning money along with focusing on academic career. There are several disadvantages for such a children. Apart from demerits, we can not neglect hidden benefits for them. Both merits and demerits will analyse in ensuing paragraph. Focusing on brighter side of this situation, the foremost one is that acquiring of real world experience and development of mature behaviour. What I mean, adolescent can build up good practical skill from experience of live problem in work field. As well as their personal growth increase subsequently. Furthermore, mature behaviour and communication skill also taught by working in any organisation. For example, children can understand the approach of conversation with elder people and get to know how to deal with others. Moreover, rounded development of juvenile is possible by it. They train for every challenges of future and never step back from any situation. The demerits of such a situation are more or less in the face. Firstly, children from poor family have to work forcefully which help to fulfil their basic need. This is one of the reasons which de-courage and de-motivate them to live life. Children might feel very depression and affected by psychological problems. It has been countered more psychological cases in children from lower class family. Additionally, because of work they can not concentrate on their academic work. As a result, they could not get opportunity to show their skill in multi-national company. Thus, they have to do hard work more in their life with out appropriate school knowledge. To conclude, it is truth that every coin has two sides. Such a scenario have various demerits like less time for proper academic, obligation of family in early age. Although it have disadvantages, it improve personal growth and practical skill which is an indispensable part of life.
It has
Possible spelling mistake found.
benn
observed that the juvenile who belong to financial weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do struggle for earning money along with focusing on academic career. There are several disadvantages for such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Apart from demerits, we can not neglect hidden benefits for them. Both merits and demerits will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
in ensuing paragraph.

Focusing on brighter side of this situation, the foremost one is that acquiring of real world experience and development of mature
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. What I mean, adolescent can build up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
from experience of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
field.
As well
as their personal growth increase
subsequently
.
Furthermore
, mature
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
also
taught by working in any
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can understand the approach of conversation with elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know how to deal with others.
Moreover
, rounded development of juvenile is possible by it. They train for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "challenge"?
challenges
of future and never step back from any situation.

The demerits of such a situation are more or less in the face.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
forcefully
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to fulfil their basic need. This is one of the reasons which
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-courage
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-motivate
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
might feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
depression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by psychological problems. It has
been countered
more psychological cases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they can not concentrate on their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
As a result
, they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in multi-national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Thus
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more in their life
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
appropriate school knowledge.

To conclude
, it is truth that every coin has two sides. Such a scenario have various demerits like less time for proper academic, obligation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in early age. Although it
Did you mean "has"?
have
disadvantages, it
Did you mean "improves"?
improve
personal growth and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
which is an indispensable part of life.
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IELTS essay In poorer families, school children may have to work part-time as well as study

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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