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In order to vote in school elections in lowville you need only be a citizen have lived in the district for 30 days and be over the age of 18 Concerned that the turnout at recent school elections has been quite low with only about 20 percent of eligible vo

In order to vote in school elections in lowville you need only be a citizen have lived in the district for 30 days and be over the age of 18 Concerned that the turnout at recent school elections has been quite low with only about 20 percent of eligible vo g58RD
In the passage, the author argues that process of school election must be alternated and should mimic the process of general or municipal election. This is based on the premises that registered voters in the above elections are committed to the electoral process and it is possible that they will participate also in school elections. However, on deeper analysis, it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been considered, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws. First of all, the author readily assumes that the registered voters who participate in general or municipal elections will have the same willing to contribute in school elections. This is a mistaken assumption made with no much solid ground. For example, it is possible that these voters are totally indifferent to school elections and maybe they consider them a waste of time. Hence, the argument would have been much more convincing if it explicitly stated that the voters who participate in general or municipal elections are equally positive to participate also in school elections. Furthermore, the author cites that school officials assert that registered voters in Lowille are committed to the electoral process. This is again a weak and unproven argument as it does not provide any evidence to demonstrate it. For instance, there is a possibility that the percentage of the voters who participate in municipal elections to be merely bigger of the percentage of participation in school elections. If the argument had provided evidence that the percentage of registered voters in municipal elections was significantly bigger than the percentage in school elections, then it would have been much more persuasive. In conclusion, the school officials’ argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it, the school officials must provide more concrete evidence, perhaps by way of a reliable survey considering the actual posture of registered voters about school elections. Finally, to better evaluate the argument, it would be necessary to know more information about the percentage of registered voters who participated in general or municipal elections in order to have a solid evidence to compare with the correlative percentage of voters at school elections.
In the passage, the author argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
election
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be alternated
and should mimic the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of general or municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
election
. This
is based
on the premises that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
registered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
in the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
are committed
to the electoral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
and it is possible that they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
.
However
, on deeper analysis, it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not
been considered
, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the author
readily
assumes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
registered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in general
or municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
will have the same willing to contribute in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
. This is a mistaken assumption made with
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
much solid ground.
For example
, it is possible that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
are
totally
indifferent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
and maybe they consider them a waste of time.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
would have been much more convincing if it
explicitly
stated that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in general
or municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
elections.

Furthermore
, the author cites that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
officials assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
registered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lowille
are committed
to the electoral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
. This is again a weak and unproven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
as it does not provide any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to demonstrate it.
For instance
, there is a possibility that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
to be
merely
bigger of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
had provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
registered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
in municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
was
significantly
bigger than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
, then it would have been much more persuasive.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
officials’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
officials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide more concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
, perhaps by way of a reliable survey considering the actual posture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
registered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
.
Finally
, to better evaluate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, it would be necessary to know more information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
registered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
participated
in general
or municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
in order to have a solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to compare with the correlative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voters
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elections
.
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IELTS essay In order to vote in school elections in lowville you need only be a citizen have lived in the district for 30 days and be over the age of 18 Concerned that the turnout at recent school elections has been quite low with only about 20 percent of eligible vo

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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