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In order to to grid display and protect, many endangered animal species are kept in captive environments such as zoo.The advantage of development outweigh the disadvantage

In order to to grid display and protect, many endangered animal species are kept in captive environments such as zoo. The advantage of development outweigh the disadvantage 2R1Nw
In several countries some species of animals are in endangered condition. Somehow to product time the favourable condition is build in zoo. So endangered animal can survive. There are many disadvantages compare two advantages. To begin with the disadvantages out of thousand of experiments with natural environment of an animals. Other words the lion made forest and moderate to high temperature to survive. Order to this many places in cool climate local area trying to keep lion in zoo. As a result lion cannot survive. Other disadvantage like we cannot able to make suitable climate. If somehow you build such climate but species cannot adapt that. Particular places like West Bengal in India is well known for its Bengal tiger and gir in Gujarat is well known for its lion. Zoo cannot switch the places. However latest technology is helping zoo to create better climate for endangered animal. On the other hand some advantages like number of animal which is killed for its skin it feather and horn it should be decrease because such animal should be transferred to protected area like zoo and centuries. For an example in forest of Africa the elephant is killed for it big tooth. Because of government many elephants are transferred to protected area which is suitable to its natural climate. To conclude the disadvantages how to take advantage. But it's travel condition it might be opposite.
In several countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are in endangered condition. Somehow to product time the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
condition is build in zoo.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
can survive. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages compare two advantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the disadvantages out of thousand of experiments with natural environment of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Other words the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
made forest and moderate to high temperature to survive. Order to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places in cool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
local area trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
in zoo.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
cannot survive. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
like we
Did you mean "cannot be able"?
cannot able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
. If somehow you build such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
species cannot adapt that. Particular places like West Bengal in India is well known for its Bengal tiger and
Possible spelling mistake found.
gir
in Gujarat is well known for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
. Zoo cannot switch the places.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
latest technology is helping zoo to create better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
for endangered animal.

On the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages like number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
which
is killed
for its skin it
Did you mean "feathers"?
feather
and horn it should be decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
should
be transferred
to protected area like zoo and centuries. For an example in forest of Africa the elephant
is killed
for it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tooth.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
elephants
are transferred
to protected area which is suitable to its natural climate.

To conclude
the disadvantages how to take advantage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it's travel condition it might be opposite.
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IELTS essay In order to to grid display and protect, many endangered animal species are kept in captive environments such as zoo. The advantage of development outweigh the disadvantage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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