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In order to overcome stress, some psychologists recommend doing nothing at all for a period of time during the day. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

In order to overcome stress, some psychologists recommend doing nothing at all for a period of time during the day. 5X7V
Nowadays, the number of people struggling to cope with their stress is rapidly increasing. Thus, many experts are suggesting various ways to relieve stress, including not doing anything for a certain period of time, and going out to do physical activities. In my personal view, I do partially agree with the point that relieving stress by getting away from your work does help you, but I believe that doing physical activity, such as football, or running, will be much more effective. Some psychologists believe that doing nothing for a certain period would allow people to reduce their stress. Giving yourself a rest from the work will give you a chance to absolutely shut down from the work. This means that when you are neither thinking or doing any work, you will have a chance to relax and refresh your mind. Moreover, with some extra-relaxing time that you are having, you will have a chance to organize your thoughts, releasing your stress since you might be able to solve any concerns. On the other hand, others assert that doing some kind of exercise will be much more effective in the sense of controlling your stress. Research conducted by various universities suggests that playing sports or doing exercises releases endorphins, which reduces stress level. Moreover, since you are doing activities that you enjoy, you would not get stress and happiness that you can gain is huge. To conclude, either ways have various advantages, but I believe that doing physical activities will be much more beneficial, not only in a way of releasing stress, but also taking care about yourself.
Nowadays, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggling to cope with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is
rapidly
increasing.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experts are suggesting various ways to relieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, including not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
anything for a certain period of time, and going out to do physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. In my personal view, I do
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the point that relieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
by getting away from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, such as football, or running, will be much more effective.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
psychologists believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
nothing for a certain period would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. Giving yourself a rest from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will give you a chance to
absolutely
shut down from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This means that when you are neither thinking
Use "nor" with neither.
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, you will have a chance to relax and refresh your mind.
Moreover
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra-relaxing time that you are having, you will have a chance to organize your thoughts, releasing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
since you might be able to solve any concerns.

On the other hand
, others assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of exercise will be much more effective in the sense of controlling your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. Research conducted by various universities suggests that playing sports or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
exercises releases endorphins, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
level.
Moreover
, since you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that you enjoy, you would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and happiness that you can gain is huge.

To conclude
, either ways have various advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will be much more beneficial, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in a way of releasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
taking care about yourself.
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IELTS essay In order to overcome stress, some psychologists recommend doing nothing at all for a period of time during the day.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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