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In olden days people used to wear clothes which were local to their culture. Nowadays everyone is wearing every kind of clothes. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

In olden days people used to wear clothes which were local to their culture. Nowadays everyone is wearing every kind of clothes. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
In this expeditiously evolving world, clothes, which were once only a part of our lives, are now defining humans and their social status. People nowadays, are exploring and buying various kinds of clothes across the globe. This has led to a cultural shift. There are certain positive and negative developments attached to it. Throwing light on positive enhancements, people now have a slew of options to choose from. As a result, different types of occasions and events can be attended by wearing a variety of clothes. To illustrate, we wear, ethnic clothes during national festivals and suits during formal parties. Also, clothes represent a culture and because of which, we feel connected to numerous cultures. Consequently, this has proliferated our emotional intelligence more than ever. Furthermore, local businessmen, who used to sell their clothes only to dwellers, have now improved their businesses to global level. Due to which, many countries’ economy has ameliorated. Paradoxically, some pragmatists propound that this increase in demand has deteriorated the environment as more production in the factories mean more carbon emission. As a result, our ecosystem is paying the price of our interests. Moreover, few people have got influenced by clothing style so strongly that a difference in opinions among family members, friends and colleagues has started to develop swiftly. To illustrate, millennials these days judge others just from their clothes and dressing sense. This has increased friction in thoughts in the workplace, in families and among friends. To conclude, it is evident that variety of clothes revamp our status, make us connected to others and aid manufacturers and sellers to upscale their businesses, although it is heading towards a judgmental society. Therefore, it is suggested that we should globalize ourselves, but should never forget our roots
In this
expeditiously
evolving world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, which were once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
defining humans and their social status.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
nowadays, are exploring and buying various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
across the globe. This has led to a cultural shift. There are certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments attached to it.

Throwing light on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
enhancements,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a slew of options to choose from.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of occasions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can
be attended
by wearing a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. To illustrate, we wear, ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
during national festivals and suits during formal parties.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
represent a culture and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which, we feel connected to numerous cultures.
Consequently
, this has proliferated our emotional intelligence more than ever.
Furthermore
, local businessmen, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to dwellers, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their businesses to global level. Due to which,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries’ economy has ameliorated.

Paradoxically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pragmatists propound that this increase in demand has deteriorated the environment as more production in the factories mean more carbon emission.
As a result
, our ecosystem is paying the price of our interests.
Moreover
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
influenced by clothing style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strongly
that a difference in opinions among family members, friends and colleagues has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to develop
swiftly
. To illustrate, millennials these days judge others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and dressing sense. This has increased friction in thoughts in the workplace, in families and among friends.

To conclude
, it is evident that variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
revamp our status,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us connected to others and aid manufacturers and sellers to upscale their businesses, although it is heading towards a judgmental society.
Therefore
, it
is suggested
that we should globalize ourselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should never forget our roots
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In olden days people used to wear clothes which were local to their culture. Nowadays everyone is wearing every kind of clothes. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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