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in my country young people have a better lufe today

in my country young people have a better lufe today p5LA9
I agree with opinion, that in my country, young people have a better life today than their parents enjoyed when they were young, because in old times, in Georgia existence was more difficult, than today. I think it has two reasons, which i will explain in the following essay. Firstly, Its due to the fact, we were always occupier by Russia, seniors doesn’t have an independence, can’t speak on their own language, at schools they learning for 11 years. How I know, good grades were so important, without it scholars couldn’t work. After finish school with best marks, student was appreciated for had an education at university and later working at the factory or like that. This colonial situation continued more than 100 years. Secondly, my parents and their aged people hadn’t free rights, only Russia gave them consent for did something they wanted. That’s why emigration were usual for us. Independence fill Georgians with power, for fighting something they desire. In conclusion, Today I’m living at the place, where our rights are vital, I’m free and equal with others, no more fair and tears, what was before. These days we can have a job anywhere, improve our skills, make progress in our profession, be successful and confident. Before 100 years it wasn’t and of course now is better than it was.
I
agree
with opinion, that in my country, young
people
have a better life
today
than their parents enjoyed when they were young,
because
in
old
times, in Georgia existence was more difficult, than
today
. I
think
it has two reasons, which
i
will
explain
in the following essay.

Firstly
, Its due to the fact, we were always occupier by Russia, seniors doesn’t have an independence, can’t speak on their
own
language, at schools
they learning
for 11 years. How I know,
good
grades were
so
important
, without it scholars couldn’t work. After finish school with best marks, student
was appreciated
for had an education at university and later working at the factory or like that. This colonial situation continued more than 100 years.

Secondly
, my parents and their aged
people
hadn’t free rights,
only
Russia gave them consent for did something they wanted. That’s why emigration were usual for us. Independence fill Georgians with power, for fighting something they desire.

In conclusion
,
Today
I’m living at the place, where our rights are vital, I’m free and equal with others, no more
fair
and tears, what was
before
. These days we can have a job anywhere,
improve
our
skills
,
make
progress in our profession, be successful and confident.
Before
100 years it wasn’t and
of course
now
is better than it was.
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IELTS essay in my country young people have a better lufe today

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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