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In most schools physical education is mandatory. Some people think that these classes should be optional. Which do you believe? Why?

In most schools physical education is mandatory. Some people think that these classes should be optional. Which do you believe? Why? ox38V
Over the last few decades there have been a significant development in the field of physical education. It's improve the physical and mental health of children at their younger age. So physical training is mandatory in schools. Some peoples think that these classes should be optional but I strongly believe that it is unavoidable in educational institutions. Firstly, the physical training can definitely build a healthy and active generation. It must improve the confidence level of students. The get opportunities for participating several competitions. It encourages their ability also. Sports training able to increase the relationship between them and improve students team work moreover they can become good individuals. In the other hand sports training cherishing the health of our mind and body because students are able to avoid diseases through these classes. Exercise can makes our body fit and beautiful so everyday we can feel fresh and awesome. I strongly believe that all-day is a new beginning, children can establish their thoughts and creativity through sports activities. They get a flexible and powerful body for fulfill their dreams. In the conclusion once again I would like to say my opinion about this topic. The physical education is very compulsory in educational centres. It involves training our body for enhanced development of the body and mind. Physical training in educational institutions can construct a healthy and energetic generation.
Over the last few decades there have been a significant development in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education. It's
The word 'improve' is not a noun. Did you mean "improvement"?
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental health of children at their younger age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is mandatory in schools.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these classes should be optional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
strongly
believe that it is unavoidable in educational institutions.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can definitely build a healthy and active generation. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the confidence level of students. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities for participating several competitions. It encourages their ability
also
. Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
able to increase the relationship between them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
students team work
moreover
they can become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
individuals.

In the other hand sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
cherishing the health of our mind and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students are able to avoid diseases through these classes. Exercise can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
fit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyday we can feel fresh and awesome.

I
strongly
believe that all-day is a new beginning, children can establish their thoughts and creativity through sports activities. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a flexible and powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
for fulfill their dreams.

In the conclusion once again I would like to say my opinion about this topic. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
compulsory in educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. It involves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
for enhanced development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
in educational institutions can construct a healthy and energetic generation.
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IELTS essay In most schools physical education is mandatory. Some people think that these classes should be optional. Which do you believe? Why?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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